mothers

i work up this morning to two bizarre text messages from the mother of one of my students. some context here before i cite these messages. she's the mother of a kid at maegokdong, but sometimes she'll show up at my drama classes at the library to watch or to help the other helpers yell at the kids. fair enough. when i went to seoul 2 weekends ago, she happened to be at the drama class on friday that i had to immediately leave once it was finished. so she offered to drive me to the bus terminal. she has also taken me to lunch before with her, 3 of her friends and her child. keep in mind that i didn't ask her for any of these things, and until today i thought this lady was the bee's knees.

last week she randomly asked me "jamie, what is pajama party?" so i explained it was sort of a sleepover thing that adolescent girls would do. to which she responded "let's have one friday at your place." uh, huh? then she said, "we'll eat dinner, go drinking and then have party at your apartment." i wasn't totally opposed to two out of the three things, so i sort of agreed (yes, i'm admitting at least a little guilt here...). again, i should remind myself that i only enjoy hanging out with students or mothers if it falls into the hours of my work day. my free time (and my lunch time) is just that, my time.

but i had actually forgotten about plans i'd already made with two other friends for the same friday. so i cancelled on her last week cause that's how i roll. in america, this is probably not a big deal. in fact, i've done it before with people i like a lot more than this woman. but her kid didn't come to class yesterday, so i text messaged her and told her i was sad not to see her there. so yeah, this morning, 2 text messages:

1: "hi jamie! it let me down that u cancelled on us last fri. im so
disapponted and depressed deep." okay. who's "us?" is this like the royal "we?"

2: "so important cause of only free night a month. if ud like 2heal
me, why don't buy us lunch?" again, who's "us?"

okay, granted, i probably do owe her a lunch, but i honestly can't afford to buy "us" lunch if "us" means me, her, her kid, and the 3 other people who were in tow last time. i'm a girl on a budget. so now i'm in a quandary. part of me feels like i also owe her a lecture on cultural differences--americans cancel on each other all the time, and it doesn't make the cancellee "depressed."

so i finally just texted her and said i was sorry. no promise of a future lunch, no admittance of guilt, just i'm sorry. we'll see how that goes over...