okay, so i didn't just realize this, but it's the first time i've applied it. i'm not going to write one mammoth blog summing up my entire weekend. instead, i'm going to do it in nugglets, disjointed convoluted nugglets. just what any good piece of writing should be...
dmz and sensory overload
let it be known that I'm not a chick who gets around. With that said, I think it's also safe to say I have actually forgotten how to flirt or interact with boys, men (and boys II men) in the past 8 months I've been here. Of course I never completely got the grasp of wooing a person stateside, but any muscle I might have had in that arena [underdeveloped though it may have been] has since atrophied. I've sort of gotten used to being on absolutely no one's romantic radar (and no, I'm not counting sexual harassment in the workplace or by people I thought were friends of mine. Got those both covered). Fact of the matter is, it's slim pickins over here in the korea when you're not a petite, asian girl and you're not particularly attracted to asian men. which is not to say that the grossly emasculated culture of pastel polos, obnoxious cell phone décor (and sounds) and high maintenance hair don't tug the heartstrings of other chicks, natives or otherwise. Just not this one in particular. foreign dudes are equally sparse, as they're either dating some tiny, korean chick already or they're most likely fucking (adj.) tools. Please forgive me my gross generalizations, I blame it on my small city, as well as my inherently/admittedly judgmental nature. oh, and I suppose not having had any physical contact in a long time figures into my outlook too, it can make a person a little, I dunno, pent up.
anyhoo, the palpable lack of any "opportunities" here in suncheon probably rarely segues so nicely into a person's first impressions of their dmz tour. unless everyone thinks of sex when they hear "dmz." but when we got on the bus for our tour to begin, all I saw were a bunch of foreign dudes. We're talking foreign foreign dudes—germans, frenchies, danes (it's not denmarkians, is it? probably not since a little squiggly line popped up in my word document). Sensory overload. I was like a kid in a candy store. Except this kid was having x-rated fantasies at 8:20 in the am. Oh, and there was no candy. Bummer. Anyhoo, there's really no point to this particular section of my weekend recap. an excuse for me to make fun of my increasingly palpable lack of sexual prowess, I suppose. All I could do was repeat "he's hot" to Erica. and it was sort of obvious that all these peeps were annoyed by the loud, perpetually late americans. i think if I could have just told them all I was sexually attracted to them it would have made everything better.
the one that got away and then ran into us again and then got away again!
okay, i think i've established that i don't do well around boys and/or men. particularly those i am attracted to. and unfortunately this is not unique to korea (if the paragraphs prior aren't evidence enough, reference any past blog entry with mentionings of attractive dudes). the majority of moments in my life spent with members of the opposite sex that I'm actually attracted to have been riddled with failing banter and many a red face. but on this bus of foreigners who all seemed to speak anything but english natively, there did happen to be one gentleman with whom I was able to hold an actual conversation. I'm already starved for conversation in my 40 hrs/week "I am fine, thank you" stupor. add to this the fact that it's a hot canadian dude reciprocating and it's really almost too much to bear. i'll spare you his details, as these demographic nuggets really wouldn't matter to anyone other than me. But as the bus wound its way back to seoul post-dmz, there were only a handful of us awake for the 45 or so minutes. including this dude. this dude who had come and sat next to me and shared his gum and cookies with me of his own free will. so i spoke full-blown, overdue english to a [tall!] stranger for an extended amount of time while everyone else dreamily respired in near unison. eyes closed. mouth breathers. But of course the magical mystery tour had to come to an end. People had to wake up (including his mother and sister who accompanied him on the tour). and then I was forced to do something I hope to never have to do again: ask his sister for her phone number, under the guise that I would call her to hang out the next day (I didn't even know her name. nor had I spoken more than 5 words to her over the course of the day). gotta be honest, that was purty painful. it's sort of difficult to flirt with someone in front of their family members without feeling a little unclean. but i did it. sort of, i guess. and just as i entered the last digit of her phone number into my phone and started to walk away, I closed my phone without saving the number. i think simultaneously I realized that I hadn't even told this guy my name, nor had I asked him his name (Erica and fike had actually asked his name. so I only found that out in retrospect). And now I even feel silly having exhausted this much time thinking about a dude who in the grand scheme of things I didn't really talk to for very long, and who is probably married or gay, or as is increasingly the case these days, both. But I did run into him the next day in insa-dong in seoul when there were literally thousands of people milling about for a festival. what are the odds? and once again, mom and seester in tow. so there was nothing I could do. except wish that I had given him my email address. seems like it all fits in with my romantic history, or noticeable lack thereof.
so yeah, this is all totally lame. i went to the dmz (actually stood in north korean, or at least my right food did, briefly) and the lotus lantern festival that was gorgeous, and the thing that i immediately want to expound upon is a dude i wanted to have relations with. but what can i say, i'm a hot chick who hasn't gotten laid in a very long time. as erica would say, that falls into the "too much information" category. but it's what's on my mind.
oh, my myspace blog's been viewed 6002 times. that's sort of cool. i'm tired.
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