jason molina

i don't have a computer at my apartment yet. i don't have an mp3 player. i do have a tiny little cd booklet with about 25 cds in it. that's it. i've been hurting for music, big time. and i didn't bring more cds with me so that i would be inclined to buy a computer (trip to tibet sort of crushed that idea. but i think next paycheck i'm splurging on a real deal laptop. we shall see).

that said, i've ordered some cds from america recently. i might have mentioned my library director's recent addiction to online shopping. of particular note is her infatuation with amazon.com. every day there are more boxes of english books ordered from amazon--including lots of large, coffee table art books and other books whose relevance to a children's library is lost on me.

anyhoo, i thought i'd ordered a jason molina cd (the new one), but turns out it's the vinyl. the fact that i have no idea how i'm going to be able to play this record isn't even the point here. the same night i picked up my record from the apartment office, there was an animation festival at the library that i needed to go to. so i hop in a taxi (no time to take said album back to my apartment) and go to the library. i put the box with the record in it (and the amazon label) on my desk. no problem, i'll get it on my way out. after the animation festival, the record is nowhere to be found. i figured someone was cleaning and just placed it in some area designated for boxes. i come in the next day and am talking to my director (well, sort of. she doesn't speak any english), and i see the record on her desk in a pile of books. the box is gone. the sleeve is gone. and i don't know why, but i didn't say anything to her right then and there. one of those awkward times when your instinct gives you the totally wrong advice. seems to happen to me a lot.

i tried to wait for her to leave her area so i could just take it, but she didn't move. and why would she, she had lots of nice, new online shopping purchases to look at. so i told my co-worker to look for a music item.

a couple of days passed, and i kept assuming that one morning i would come in and the record would be sitting on my desk, accompanied by an "aw shucks, i'm sorry i got confused" look from my director. but no dice. so i started to look for it again. nowhere to be found. lost among the myriad art books and hans christian anderson books.
finally yesterday, i decide it's time once and for all to claim my jason molina record. so i locate it in a box and grab it. then i look at the co-worker and hold it up triumphantly "yeoggi ta!" she understood immediately, "hey that's jamie's record. i'm glad she found it." but my director didn't get it. she thought, "yeah, cool, i must have ordered a vinyl album of an american musician i've never heard of. this will be good for the library and the children." so when i told her it was mine, she looked confused, and then seemed a mite defensive. she and the co-worker raised their voices, while i stood in the middle clutching the album, MY album. mi hyang (co-worker) told her all about that fateful night of the animation festival, and then everything was okay. but the director seemed defeated and deflated. i had made her look foolish. and she resents me for it now.

communication breakdown. it's always the same. i'm having a nervous breakdown. drive me insane.