Tuesday, January 23, 2007

what's the technical definition of a bender?

ha! i fooled everyone. this isn't my tibet story (probably could have guessed that) which at this point, is going to seem so anticlimactic if it does ever materialize. but i promise i'll post it anyway. it's very long, and that much typing takes time. so that's my excuse. but who cares.

back to the point. seriously, what constitutes a bender? because i think i might have been on one this weekend. on friday night i did the usual drinking at juliana's thing, staying out until a very tame 3 am waiting in vain for something amazing and life-altering to happen. and just like always, it didn't. on saturday morning, i went to the bus terminal to meet some korean friends i hadn't seen in two years to go to gwangju for an epi reunion.

a little backstory: epi (english proficiency internship) is a program my university back in los estados unidos has at the asian affairs center, where i worked pre-korea departure. in the summer of 2005, there were over a dozen korean college students who participated in this program, which involved english conversation classes and internships. me and the seester were assistant teachers for said english classes. so this weekend was not only the first time i had seen or talked to most of them in two years, but also the first time most of them had seen or talked to each other (this, despite the fact that many of them live in the same cities). so i ride the bus to gwangju, get there around 1 pm.

anyhoo, immediately ushered into a restaurant in gwangju and the soju is flowing. so we eat and drink and make merry. and everything is good. after that, go to some other bar and drink more for another couple of hours. you get the picture. just a lot lot lot of drinking. i'm the only foreigner though, and they all hadn't seen each other, so eventually it seemed like i was just this sort of pesky obligation. they all felt like they had to translate every word of korean for me. i'm okay with just sitting and observing for a while. i'm actually quite good at not speaking, a habit borne out of working with people who speak no english. plus, they were all so used to me as part of jamie and julie, the twins (we both taught the class together. i think they only saw us together). when you take away one half of that equation, it sort of fucks up the dynamic, or the expectations of what the dynamic will be. it's funny though, some of them confessed that they had been nervous about meeing, but i hadn't been nervous at all. i dunno. i remember crying like a wee little baby when they left missouri--what are the chances i'll really get to see you in korea? and then here i was, and it didn't feel magical like i thought it would. i think i tend to expect to much of innocuous, mundane events (see aforementioned expectations of juliana's drinking). too much time had passed, and we all knew it. but i did realize that one of these folks lives in sidae 103. so maybe it is a small world. but i still need convincing.

after drinking, went to the norae bong. they all wanted me to sing a song. i didn't want to sing. just like i don't enjoy giving speeches or presentations. i am constantly blushing or embarassed for no reason at all, so if you give me an actual tangible reason to be embarassed, i just might implode. besides, singing journey with a bunch of people who don't know journey sort of sucks the magic out of it. i think i've lamented this fact before...post norae bong, stayed at one of the chick's houses with 4 other people, as her parents were vacationing in spain. a very nice gesture, again, but ultimately just awkward for everyone involved. lots of staring at the floor and "aaggh, english!" comments. mian hae-yo? so i think i was the impetus for the reunion, but once there, i didn't feel quite necessary. still good though, even if i want to be callous and boil down the events of the weekend to the sheer fact that i drank for 13 straight hours. i've never done that before.

the next day i met my friend, inyoung, from the 2006 summer epi group. this group was a little different. i spent so much time with them so consistently, plus that was just this past summer. so less time has passed, it still feels like we know each other. so i hung out with her and her boyfriend. we went to a temple outside of gwangju. i was quite pleased with how comfortable and natural it felt to be in their company for an extended amount of time. based on the night before, i didn't know if it was possible. but it was, and that was a good way to round out an otherwise exhausting weekend (both in the drinking and english speaking arenas. it's never been so tiring to speak my own language before).

i think the post-tibet depression is kicking in. if the wanting to cry for no reason at all is any indication. but it could be because i'm still so worn out from the weekend. i dunno. i'm happy now at this particular moment, because the little kid next to me in the pc bong gave me a piece of gum. ass-ah! but hanging out with all these people who are supposed to be my friends, ultimately just made me feel really alienated. i dunno. there shouldn't have to be so much effort. i think i haven't missed jules and rory as much as i did on saturday surrounded by 13 people who i had once been really close to.

moving on to other things...i have 2 plays coming up in a couple weeks at the miracle library. my first drama class is the beginning english class, and half of them can't even read english. so i gave them all scripts, but then they just listened to me read it and wrote the korean characters for the english words i was saying. but the konglish version is sort of off with lots of extra syllables. at least they actually memorized it though. 2 kids dropped out last week, but no one told me until yesterday. they were 'sposed to write the play themselves, but no one did their homework (probably because they couldn't understand a single word i said). so i wrote the play. but there are so many students (14) and they wanted little red riding hood. so now little red riding hood has 3 little red riding hoods, plus the 3 little pigs, cinderella, 2 fairy godmothers and some other extraneous folks. it will either be a train wreck or a miracle. i'm hoping for the latter. it is the miracle library (let's see how many times i can make that joke or some variation of it during my tenure there).

my other drama class is advanced and should be fine. they're performing cinderella too. i'm excited to paint a mustache on the little girl who's playing the prince. she's not quite as excited. this week i have to make all the props for the plays, which include a motorcycle and lots of masks (instead of a carriage, cinderella will ride a cardboard motorbike). and instead of a pumpkin, it's a persimmon. how fitting.

okay, time to go wash the smell of the pc bong off me. why are there still little kids here? it's nearly midnight?

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