a long time ago, whilst riding the cramped, claustrophobic number 59 bus home, i encountered a korean man hidden amongst the throng of middle school students packing the bus. i guess i must have been pretty new to korea, as i remember i got off at the wrong stop and had to walk a bit to get home. anyhoo, this korean man decided to walk with me. fair enough. i've endured many an akward walk with broken english speakers. he stuttered and stammered during the whole exchange as tiny globules of white viscous foam accumulated in the corners of his mouth. it was only seconds later that one of said globules was launched directly into my left eye, projected via the stammering. though i had already declined his offer of coffee and dinner based on the fact that he was a complete stranger to me, the spit in the eye sealed the deal. unfortunately, i had already given him my phone number. you might ask, "why didn't you give him a fake number?" it's a good idea, except that koreans constantly have their phones with them. the one time i tried to give a fake number, i was literally called on it. so that's not a good tactic of evasion. my phone now contains lots of numbers attributed to "creepy" (he actually text messaged me today) or "don't answer"--taxi drivers, bus folks, bar patrons. anyhoo, we parted ways, his spit still in my eye. he called me for many months after that. but i never returned his calls and eventually tried to forget--almost succeeding!--about the spitting man.
on tuesday i was at maegokdong teaching my last children's class of the day. i was excited to meet erica to go to the gym. with 20 minutes left, a strange, eerily familiar man walked in and sat down on the couch. we must remember, the only classes at this community center are for kids. he was clearly misplaced as the only adults who come there are women whose kids are in my classes. i kept wavering back and forth between accepting that it was bus spit man and denying it was bus spit man. just as i had decided there was no way that it could be him, my class was finished and he was approaching me. shit. it was bus spit man. but now there was a new characteristic, immediately surpassing the spit and stammering. it was poop breath. i expected actual pieces of fecal matter to fall out in hunks with each laborious word he chose to utter. somebody had to have taken a shit in his mouth! and such a smell even from 5 feet away. as he approached me, conversations i'd had with mike and erica about some of their students came to mind. i had always heard stories about mr. lee and a man named cage. according to my sources, cage stuttered a lot and was just generally annoying. it was then that i realized that this man--creepy bus spitting poop breath man--and the elusive cage were one and the same. he gave me some nasty, stale cookies, recorded me speaking about what i studied in college, and asked me again if we could "hang out sometime." great. i have the sinking feeling that tuesday was not his last visit to me. fuck fuck fuck.
yesterday was white day (and my mom's birfday, coincidentally. if you see ma mcgeorge, give her a shout out!). valentine's day was only for the dude's to receive treats. white day is a day for the ladies. for some reason, the girls are given sugar, not chocolate. so i am now the proud owner of a large bag of multicolored suckers. nice-uh. that's certain to fill the void of having no significant other in this completely passionless country [nervous laughter].
yesterday was a bad day, physically speaking. i couldn't stand up straight. i don't know what i've done to my back now, but it hurts. a lot. i've been very fortunate with my back troublems here. i don't know why. only been to the doctor before for some questionable "therapy." but no one ever diagnosed me or paid attention when i told them i had a bonafide disease. i was going to go to the doctor yesterday, as my coworker said she would go with me at 5, but the chick who said that was passed out at her desk. i felt it would be wrong to wake her (i know you can't stand and actually can't speak today either, but we really need you to finish storytelling before you go to the hospital. just like last time). storytelling for 3 hours is difficult when you lost your voice screaming at 21 little bodies in your drama class 3 days prior.
that's a funny story. my korean helper who can't speak english has all these ideas about teaching the kids the vocabulary in these fairy tales we looked at on monday. i want to make sure she knows that i can either teach the kids lessons, or they can do an english play, but i don't have the time or the patience to do both. and i believe the library is expecting a play in 3 months, so we're sticking with that. they actually are going to write the play this time. i want them to feel complete creative control of their play. i'm really only there to faciliate. we'll see if that happens. i've got the funny feeling that, just like last time, no one will bother to do their homework and i'll end up writing a play that serves to only humor me and make use of impractical esl language. seriously, the phrase "bee's knees" is of little value in the classroom or in a play.
back to my janky back. i took a sick day today and went to the hospital. it was actually a very streamlined, cheap and quick process. quite the contrast to america. and i spoke a lot of korean. anyhoo, the scene at this korean hospital was very interesting. or maybe not particularly interesting at all. i saw amputees, old women clutching their arthritic backs, newborn babies, little kids seeing doctors without the accompaniment of their parents, x-rays hanging all over the place for everyone to view, nuns in their habits--crosses dangling from side to side. but i also saw these two older men who looked like what i imagine confucius looked like--long, grey beards, wide brimmed straw hats, and the traditional korean countryside hanbok clothing. it looked like halloween at the hospital. they seemed to be doing laps around the first floor, waiting for their turn with the good doctor.
anyhoo, i waited for a long time after i got my ticket. then i saw someone i used to work with at the library, she informed me that i was sposed to give some woman at another counter my ticket. then she pointed to the sign that said it (in korean) and looked at me thinking "silly girl, it says it right here" i guess forgetting all the awkward lunches we had together where we didn't communicate because i can't speak korean. but i met the doctor and it was good. he seemed amused that he got to use his english. but that was a plus. he asked me what my issues were, i told him that the l3-l4 and l4-l5 discs were problematic and i don't think he actually believed i knew what i was talking about, so then i said i wanted some x-rays.
x-rays took maybe 10 minutes to process. x-ray man also seemed amused by having to speak english. and i was embarassed because my legs were really hairy and i had to wear these little shorts and curl up in a ball on the x-ray table. according to the x-ray, the problem area is...wait for it...l3-l4 and l4-l5. disc degeneration means a bulge (like squeezing a balloon) which puts pressure on the nerves or something like that. whatever. pain. plus, apparently i have scoliosis now. so that's a nice development. i am inclined to believe that this curvature of my spine is temporary as my body tries to compensate for the pain on the left side. dr. man didn't dismiss this theory. so his diagnosis of me was exactly what i had told him prior to the x-rays. told him i had done "physical therapy" here a few months ago but felt like that was actually a waste of $3. and he said, "no, you need medicine." hallelujah! i'm from america, i like pills! so i am many now muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatories happier. woo hoo. i got home, drank a beer, popped some pills and passed out. best sick day ever. too bad my cable isn't installed until this
weekend....oh yeah, the doctor actually said "you have the spine of a 48 year old person." quit rubbing it in, man.
i am now the proud owner of a cd with my x-rays on it. if i can figure out how to post it, i will.
other thoughts. of late i'm having to make a concerted effort to try to see the beauty in the mundane. 5 months ago that was my "mantra" (i fucking hate that word), but how easily we forget our mantras. and it's not even that i'm not seeing things the same way, i just allow these beautiful details to be more fleeting than they should be. because it's not new anymore. for example. last week on the playground, i saw a dead fish. time was, i would see that and think, "wow, never in america would i see a random dead fish (someone's meal, no doubt) splayed awkwardly and inappropriately on the playground." it was such a decidedly korean moment, yet i gave it no other mentioning until now. i took a picture of it, so perhaps not all is lost.
i read about jules and rory's life in china and am jealous of the sense of glitter pervading their days right now. china is new to them,and will be for a long time. the honeymoon phase when everything is looked at with wonder and reverence and cultural openmindedness and a genuine desire to discover. how do i get back to that point here in the korea? i dunno. i should probably get out more on the weekends. explore my province more. it's funny though, i make much more money here than i made at home. i don't have to pay my rent, the cost of living is cheap. yet i still feel like some sort of slave to my credit card. i make substantial payments every month, dutifully wiring money back to my american bank. but this debt still haunts me, just like it did in america. gosh, maybe someday i'll be financially responsible. wouldn't that be nice. this will be another unadventurous weekend, as i can't afford to do anything. but i guess i'll be going to china soon enough.
on tuesday i was at maegokdong teaching my last children's class of the day. i was excited to meet erica to go to the gym. with 20 minutes left, a strange, eerily familiar man walked in and sat down on the couch. we must remember, the only classes at this community center are for kids. he was clearly misplaced as the only adults who come there are women whose kids are in my classes. i kept wavering back and forth between accepting that it was bus spit man and denying it was bus spit man. just as i had decided there was no way that it could be him, my class was finished and he was approaching me. shit. it was bus spit man. but now there was a new characteristic, immediately surpassing the spit and stammering. it was poop breath. i expected actual pieces of fecal matter to fall out in hunks with each laborious word he chose to utter. somebody had to have taken a shit in his mouth! and such a smell even from 5 feet away. as he approached me, conversations i'd had with mike and erica about some of their students came to mind. i had always heard stories about mr. lee and a man named cage. according to my sources, cage stuttered a lot and was just generally annoying. it was then that i realized that this man--creepy bus spitting poop breath man--and the elusive cage were one and the same. he gave me some nasty, stale cookies, recorded me speaking about what i studied in college, and asked me again if we could "hang out sometime." great. i have the sinking feeling that tuesday was not his last visit to me. fuck fuck fuck.
yesterday was white day (and my mom's birfday, coincidentally. if you see ma mcgeorge, give her a shout out!). valentine's day was only for the dude's to receive treats. white day is a day for the ladies. for some reason, the girls are given sugar, not chocolate. so i am now the proud owner of a large bag of multicolored suckers. nice-uh. that's certain to fill the void of having no significant other in this completely passionless country [nervous laughter].
yesterday was a bad day, physically speaking. i couldn't stand up straight. i don't know what i've done to my back now, but it hurts. a lot. i've been very fortunate with my back troublems here. i don't know why. only been to the doctor before for some questionable "therapy." but no one ever diagnosed me or paid attention when i told them i had a bonafide disease. i was going to go to the doctor yesterday, as my coworker said she would go with me at 5, but the chick who said that was passed out at her desk. i felt it would be wrong to wake her (i know you can't stand and actually can't speak today either, but we really need you to finish storytelling before you go to the hospital. just like last time). storytelling for 3 hours is difficult when you lost your voice screaming at 21 little bodies in your drama class 3 days prior.
that's a funny story. my korean helper who can't speak english has all these ideas about teaching the kids the vocabulary in these fairy tales we looked at on monday. i want to make sure she knows that i can either teach the kids lessons, or they can do an english play, but i don't have the time or the patience to do both. and i believe the library is expecting a play in 3 months, so we're sticking with that. they actually are going to write the play this time. i want them to feel complete creative control of their play. i'm really only there to faciliate. we'll see if that happens. i've got the funny feeling that, just like last time, no one will bother to do their homework and i'll end up writing a play that serves to only humor me and make use of impractical esl language. seriously, the phrase "bee's knees" is of little value in the classroom or in a play.
back to my janky back. i took a sick day today and went to the hospital. it was actually a very streamlined, cheap and quick process. quite the contrast to america. and i spoke a lot of korean. anyhoo, the scene at this korean hospital was very interesting. or maybe not particularly interesting at all. i saw amputees, old women clutching their arthritic backs, newborn babies, little kids seeing doctors without the accompaniment of their parents, x-rays hanging all over the place for everyone to view, nuns in their habits--crosses dangling from side to side. but i also saw these two older men who looked like what i imagine confucius looked like--long, grey beards, wide brimmed straw hats, and the traditional korean countryside hanbok clothing. it looked like halloween at the hospital. they seemed to be doing laps around the first floor, waiting for their turn with the good doctor.
anyhoo, i waited for a long time after i got my ticket. then i saw someone i used to work with at the library, she informed me that i was sposed to give some woman at another counter my ticket. then she pointed to the sign that said it (in korean) and looked at me thinking "silly girl, it says it right here" i guess forgetting all the awkward lunches we had together where we didn't communicate because i can't speak korean. but i met the doctor and it was good. he seemed amused that he got to use his english. but that was a plus. he asked me what my issues were, i told him that the l3-l4 and l4-l5 discs were problematic and i don't think he actually believed i knew what i was talking about, so then i said i wanted some x-rays.
x-rays took maybe 10 minutes to process. x-ray man also seemed amused by having to speak english. and i was embarassed because my legs were really hairy and i had to wear these little shorts and curl up in a ball on the x-ray table. according to the x-ray, the problem area is...wait for it...l3-l4 and l4-l5. disc degeneration means a bulge (like squeezing a balloon) which puts pressure on the nerves or something like that. whatever. pain. plus, apparently i have scoliosis now. so that's a nice development. i am inclined to believe that this curvature of my spine is temporary as my body tries to compensate for the pain on the left side. dr. man didn't dismiss this theory. so his diagnosis of me was exactly what i had told him prior to the x-rays. told him i had done "physical therapy" here a few months ago but felt like that was actually a waste of $3. and he said, "no, you need medicine." hallelujah! i'm from america, i like pills! so i am many now muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatories happier. woo hoo. i got home, drank a beer, popped some pills and passed out. best sick day ever. too bad my cable isn't installed until this
weekend....oh yeah, the doctor actually said "you have the spine of a 48 year old person." quit rubbing it in, man.
i am now the proud owner of a cd with my x-rays on it. if i can figure out how to post it, i will.
other thoughts. of late i'm having to make a concerted effort to try to see the beauty in the mundane. 5 months ago that was my "mantra" (i fucking hate that word), but how easily we forget our mantras. and it's not even that i'm not seeing things the same way, i just allow these beautiful details to be more fleeting than they should be. because it's not new anymore. for example. last week on the playground, i saw a dead fish. time was, i would see that and think, "wow, never in america would i see a random dead fish (someone's meal, no doubt) splayed awkwardly and inappropriately on the playground." it was such a decidedly korean moment, yet i gave it no other mentioning until now. i took a picture of it, so perhaps not all is lost.
i read about jules and rory's life in china and am jealous of the sense of glitter pervading their days right now. china is new to them,and will be for a long time. the honeymoon phase when everything is looked at with wonder and reverence and cultural openmindedness and a genuine desire to discover. how do i get back to that point here in the korea? i dunno. i should probably get out more on the weekends. explore my province more. it's funny though, i make much more money here than i made at home. i don't have to pay my rent, the cost of living is cheap. yet i still feel like some sort of slave to my credit card. i make substantial payments every month, dutifully wiring money back to my american bank. but this debt still haunts me, just like it did in america. gosh, maybe someday i'll be financially responsible. wouldn't that be nice. this will be another unadventurous weekend, as i can't afford to do anything. but i guess i'll be going to china soon enough.
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