i went to china. also, brevity's for pussies!

whoa hoa, china grove!!!! Well, here it is. My trip to china in a long-winded nutshell.

I guess a bit of a preface here. The chuseok holiday in korea marks a solid year living abroad. I haven’t seen my family in a while. I have a twin sister who lives in weihai, china with her husband, rory. Weihai is in the Shandong province of china (famous for peanuts, I learned while I was there), and the closest city anyone’s ever heard of is either dalian or quingdao (beer city!). despite the fact that lots of folks haven’t ever heard of weihai, there are millions of peeps there. Also, last year for Christmas I went to Tibet. Spent not a lot of time in Beijing watching hbo in a hotel with western toilets and a free breakfast, so mainland china is still really a big unknown to me. there’s some background.

day one (Sunday, September 23rd):
I took a shuttle bus to the airport from ilsan. I’m stupid. That takes about an hour and a half with normal traffic. i almost missed my flight to weihai by showing up at incheon international airport during chuseok (the largest korean holiday) a mere half hour before it was scheduled to depart. Let me just mention that the last time I took a flight it was at gimpo airport, domestic flight to gwangju, and I literally showed up 15 minutes before it left with no problems. Anyhoo, this time around, my flight was at 5, and I was still standing in the increasingly long check-in line at 4:30. I asked a man to help me and pointed to the time on my little e-ticket. he laughed and let me cut in front of everyone else in line to go to the priority counter. a smug Korean woman told me it was too late, that my gate had closed at 4:10 (I think all airline check-in counter people are smug and immediately defensive. not just koreans). of course my rationale was “it’s only 4:30. I know that plane’s still here!” some crying, shaking and general scary behavior on my part ensued, which convinced the woman to get me an escort and get me on the plane. It really pissed me off though. Granted, I was totally at fault for showing up so late, but so many people in any sort of service industry force you to be complete assholes to them before they’ll actually do something. This has been true with any of my airport mishaps. I hate that the worst part of you has to be revealed to get any sort of reaction. If I had been polite and just said “oh, that’s too bad” then I would have had to take a flight on Monday. But as it was, I was a total psychotic bitch and then she responded. I guess that’s the protocol and that’s why her job requires her to be such a raging cunt.

Anyhoo, i thought they were going to send for one of those little carts you see sometimes, but nope. my escort was an asiana airlines chick in beige high heels, and we sprinted through the airport to what felt like the farthest departure gate in all of icn. i literally got on the plane and then it started taxiing away from the little arm thing that attaches to it. When the woman told me it was too late, i actually felt myself sink a little bit. I haven’t felt a feeling like that in a long time. complete panic, like my life as I knew it was ending, a family member had died or something. shaking and sweating. The thought of having to delay seeing my family. it was bizarre. compounded by feeling like a complete idiot. I should have known better. seasoned traveller i'm not, i guess...

even on the plane the whole time I couldn’t relax. Hands still shaking and chest heaving from the most physical activity—sprinting through an airport—I’ve had in a long time.

During the flight, it was really nice. There was a Korean child and his mother sitting next to me. And every time they ate gum or got a drink, they would hand whatever they were eating or imbibing to me too. And they took away all of my trash. I just smiled and said thank you. their kindness helped calm me down, I think.

It started raining mid-flight. And I remember thinking the rain looked like snow as it hit the outer layer of the 3-ply window and rolled off. I pressed my hand to the glass, expecting to feel an immediate chill. But it didn’t feel like anything. I suppose this is only noteworthy in that I remembered how the rain looked. Which means I’ve either never noticed the weather outside mid-flight, or there was no precipitation any other time I’ve flown. But that seems highly unlikely. So I guess I was supposed to remember this precipitation.

arrived in china 1 hour later (less time than it took me to actually get to the airport) to jules and roar, the tallest people in the airport receiving area. Fucking surreal. i think part of the reason I haven’t been sleeping well for the past couple of weeks has been due to the excitement of seeing someone from home. Someone actually related to me by blood. It’s strange to go without that for so long. I also remember thinking rory looked particularly tall, despite the fact that jules was towering above me in heels. a welcome sign reading "mccunt" made the whole scene a little more concrete, and rory captured it all on video as jules and i hugged and cried for a spell.

China is fucking hot and humid. Just thought I’d make a note of that. In all the pictures I took, we all just look sweaty and dirty. It was sort of liberating to not really have to worry about appearances though. Especially after having just come from korea, the vanity capital of the world.

after shaking a little bit and crying a little more, got ourselves on a shuttle bus to weihai. Let the eating and drinking tour of weihai begin! it was then that jules revealed her new "jamie" tattoo to me—featuring my name on a banner and lots of drawings/doodling I used to do when I wrote notes to her in high school (and yes, even in college). i'm soooooo not worthy. she must really like me, i guess. made me think i need to start drawing and painting more. I’ve been sort of lazy about that.

anyhoo, got off the bus somewhere in weihai, then caught a taxi in the deluge. China’s not fucking around with their rain. headed to jules and rory’s dorm room and their school. Both were actually a lot nicer/bigger than i expected. high ceilings made their dorm room appear bigger. nice squatter toilet. we exchanged gifts and they showed me all the cool things they've picked up along their travel—kites, fans, jewelry, just mysterious eastern things.

china is bizarre. there's a real tangible sense of history to it, probably due in part to the fact that so much of it is far behind other modern societies. Conversely, korea really isn't too much different from america in a lot of respects. Regular toilets for the most parts, vestiges of western influence dotting every street, hip fashionable people. the one glaring difference between korea and china is that korea doesn't seem to have so many poor people. and that was a huge difference between korea and china. And sometimes you need to see how the other half lives, I guess, in order to truly appreciate all that you have. I couldn’t help but feel like a big, rich American the whole time I was there, abusing the city with my vulgar amount of spending money. With regards to poverty, the poorer parts of weihai didn’t seem too much different than some parts of Tibet that I saw. And that’s what made china’s lack of modernity more tangible to me. I thought Tibet was like national geographic, but the reality is that a lot of china is. And this is the world’s next superpower? I find it hard to believe when the gap between the rich and poor is so deep and wide, becoming more so every day. But then again, I’m a chick who doesn’t really know too much about global economics, poverty, or anything, really. But I can sure quote a lot of random poetry that doesn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things. uh … moving on.

got settled in a little bit and then went and ate hot pot with rebecca, julie and rory's chinese co-teacher. live crabs and a crapload of veggies and other meat just thrown into a boiling pot. Video is up in my video section. ate and drank for a long time. there was a surprise bottle of champagne. Everything was delicious. A nice change from the Chinese food I had the last time I was there. Let’s just say it’s not nice to have stomach/digestive issues in a country with lackluster sanitation. went back to the dorm, i got my own dorm room for less than $2/night. now that's cheap lodging! crashed.

day two (Monday, September 24th):
shopping!!!!! went and got fitted for a traditional chinese dress. jules got a long robe with dragons on it. i still can't believe that i own something hand tailored. it cost so little and fits so perfectly. Mine is blue and has little village scenes on it. I’ve always entertained the notion of going to a tailor, so why not go to one in china.

we went to lots of other random stores. Ate japanese food that was great. drank beer and sake in an extended lunch. talked about girl shit while rory was at work. In a lot of ways it was no different than how jules and I used to spend time at home. But this time instead of shopping at maude and drinking blue moon beers at teller’s before biking home, we’d been custom fitted, the beer was Japanese, and a little car with three wheels was taking us “home” to a dormitory in weihai, china.

went back to the dorm, chilled for a little while. got purtified to go eat meat skewers at a place we had planned to eat at the night before, but didn't because of the rain. these peeps were expecting me, so that was cool. ate outside on a patio, for all the people to stare at us as they walked by. long side note here: in korea people stare and point and whisper at/about me all the time, which gets really annoying because there are soooo many foreigners here. there's no way i'm the first foreigner they've seen. but in china, jules and rory are probably the only foreign people some of these folks will EVER see. so three of us together is quite a sight. this dinner was also my first run in with baijo. Honestly, I was expecting worse. Which is not to be confused with me liking it. I was just expecting something more like mao tai, and it wasn’t like that at all. Can’t remember if this was the night we drank the liquor made with animal penis extract in it or not. But with liquor comes the need to use the bathroom. Which, at this restaurant, included a sink and a drain in the floor. So yeah, squat and piss on the floor. One thing I learned from my bathroom experience in china, is don’t wear anything with long pant legs, unless you have a desire to mist said clothing with your own urine. And footwear is a calculated effort too. Perhaps that’s too much information, but I’m just keeping it real, yo. Anyhoo, after dinner, went to some different area of town with night vendors and street stalls and strange street food lined up. chicken heads on skewers. Mmmm. met their british friend simon. Didn’t really get a chance to form an impression of him.

went to a bar called the tomato bar. drank a guiness. There was a live band playing. Hotel California. headed to this crazy, neon dance club called seven. sexy, scantily clad chinese dancing girls (rumor has it, they rented their clothes from the club. These weren’t even elaborate costumes, just jeans and bikini tops), midgets, and many whole beers drank in one gulp. fucking crazy. like so much of china. don't really remember going to sleep that night. but it sure felt early when jules woke me up the next day.

day three (Tuesday, September 25th):
watched 3 of julie's classes. chinese children are so cute. it's pretty interesting to hear the difference in the chinese english accent and the korean english accent. The first two classes were great. Little Chinese and Korean bodies earnestly dancing and singing these english songs projected on a large screen at the front of the room. And they were all so eager to please Julie. Opening the blinds, turning on lights, moving chairs. jules' last class was full of Korean students, who were all shitheads, used to getting what they want as the rich kids on campus. so i said mean things to them in Korean and generally tried to make them feel bad. I hope it worked. after that we watched the group calisthenics that the whole school does together. i'll be honest, i was pretty hungover. went to do more shopping. but i couldn't really function well because i had to make myself barf all day in the disgusting public toilets of weihai, china. let's just say it didn't take too much to make me blow chunks.

went back to the crib, watched part of knocked up. Took a nap, then went out again. we took a taxi drive along the coast, stopping at all the beaches. Beautiful. tranquil, not bustling like any beach in korea would be. we weren't sure if the weather would hold up enough for me to actually go to the beach the next day or not, so that's why the taxi. It was also a very visible tour de classes in weihai. Around the beaches were all the rich, fancy buildings and restaurants, but as soon as you got away from the water, it’s the styx again. There were constant reminders of that. Jules’ school, for example, was out on the very edge of town, so to get to it you really got to see the poorest parts of town, farming areas and villages. And then there’s this gated monolithic, imposing structure (their school), a very visible emblem of everything to which the poor people will never have access.

for dinner this time it was pizza and then we visited the same street vendors we saw the night before. went to another bar similar to seven called 2046. sexy dancers, but no midgets. Damn. it was cool, we were just all tuckered out. went home and finished knocked up. watched lots of youtube funniness (from snl: macgruber, a letter to my sister, astronaut jones. I highly recommend all of these. Also the Michael showalter showalter), ate cheese and drank beers. just like old times. Sigh.

day four (Wednesday, September 26th):
more shopping! i got a winter coat and lots of souvenirs for my co-workers. ate breakfast at mcdonalds. that was cool. the first western toilets in 3 days! woo hoo! Not that I’m really that particular. after mcdonalds walked around to more vendors and different areas of downtown weihai. then we made our way to a really awesome,organic restaurant out in the middle of nowhere, nestled at the foot of some mountains. little did we know this would turn into a full on afternoon drunkfest. This restaurant was so cool. Unlike any place I’ve ever been. There was a room you went into, full of meats, vegetables and bugs on shelves. You just point to your items and specify how you’d like to eat them—in a soup, fried, stir fried. There was also a dead wolf on the floor that they’d killed to serve up to anyone willing to fork over the cash. There was a little drop of blood near the wolf’s body. after eating donkey dumplings (yes, i'm serious), were invited to some other room of taiwanese and chinese company workers. lots of one-shots and photos ensued. told some guy i'd be his third wife. he said i was too pretty for him. ha ha. i also have no dowry to offer. Uh, bad joke. taiwan doesn’t require a bride price, I don’t think.

went back towards jules' hood, bought some baiju and a purse i don't need. picked up our dresses from the tailor. The woman stripped me down my under things to try the dress on. Modesty’s usually the name of the game for me, but I couldn’t really object, so I just went with it. She liked my tattoo and called the other woman working in the shop over to look at it. Yikes. As long as we don’t start calling people in off the street, I guess it’s cool.

dinner that night was at a place close to their school. good eats. I was very surprised that i didn't have any problems with my stomach over the course of my vacation, despite the fact that i was eating Chinese food (that has given me problems before), was eating more meals than I usually do, and was drinking more beer than i have in a really long time.

at this point it had started to rain really hard once again. Part of me wanted my flight to be cancelled the next day due to rain. But it wasn’t.

day 5 (Thursday, September 27th):
the next morning, got up super early to take a bus to where taxi’s would actually be. Then went on the craziest, most dangerous, most exhilarating taxi ride I could ever hope to have. Don’t get me wrong, it was kick ass, but if I never have a driver like that again, it’s probably a good thing. For one thing, it’s pouring down rain. Plus people don’t really use the crosswalk in china. Herds of people just sort of wander, lane to lane, across the busiest lanes of traffic in the city. So it’s raining, visibility is low, these people are meandering in and out of traffic, dude’s FLYING through this rain. At one point we were behind a bus that slammed on its brakes, going full speed, another car in the passing lane. But instead of us slamming on our brakes, dude sped up to within inches of the now stopped bus and then swerved over into a tiny opening on the left hand side. Perhaps the closest call I’ve ever been in. but the driver just had this triumphant smile on his face the whole time. ok, it was cool. i was convinced there was no way my flight would still be taking off, on account of the rain. it's not that it rains more there than in korea, but there just doesn't seem to be any drainage whatsoever. it rains a lot in korea, but someone thought about drainage. another backwards about china. they have all these ideals of modernity, but it gets lost in the details. but hey, it’s charming. these great 4 lane roads, but no one thought about where the water can go when it rains. so more standing water on the roads than i've ever seen.

jules and i chilled for a while drinking tea in the airport café before i had to catch my flight. let's just say that's the saddest I can recall having been in recent memory.

I sat in the weihai airport, waiting to board the plane, sobbing uncontrollably (inconsolably) into cheap Chinese tissues. jules and rory live in a totally fucked up, backwards country, but I’m completely jealous. Because china gets to have them, not korea. and they have each other. i'm here, and I have some acquaintances, but i don't really KNOW anyone. So this is what that independence I so fervently craved feels like. Great. The people I communicate with the most frequently fall into the 8-14 yr. old age bracket. And jules and rory’s backwards country is still affording them this sense of glitter, something I lost a long time ago. i don't like things once the shiny outer coating wears off. be they cities, boyfriends, jobs, etc.. This, on the heels of several blogs lauding ilsan’s merits. I’m nothing if not wishy washy.

on a more positive note, i was thoroughly impressed with jules and rory and just how well they've adapted to their surroundings. something not as obvious to them, because it's their daily life. but to me they're these giants, conquering china, speaking survival chinese and just living in a reality that is so far removed from and lacking the basic, easily overlooked comforts of the one I live in. every day for them has to yield this huge sense of accomplishment, simply because it’s not as easy as korea. I covet that feeling. So fuck yeah, i was proud of them.

So that’s that. A great trip. But also terribly sad as soon as it began. As soon as I saw her in the airport, it was tears of joy, but also of impending sadness.

“I felt happy—or some weak, pretty feeling centered in my stomach, brought on by beer—at the sight of the fading blue sky tormented at its edges with heat lightning, and at the crickets and the shouting over the water, and by Jackie Wilson on the radio, but it was a happiness so like sadness that the next moment I hung my head.” That’s pretty much how I felt the whole time (minus the Jackie Wilson, and beach setting). there was a tragedy in seeing my family, just to have to leave them again. And the uncertainty of when I’ll see them—or anyone else who truly knows me—again is devastating. The post-vacation doldrums are that much harder when you’re leaving your family. I guess I’ve cried more in the past 4 days than I have all year. But I guess It’s nice to feel every once in a while. Sometimes I think I forget how to do that with my life in korea being so simple and easy. I also wonder when I’ll ever return to a sense of normalcy. And what does “normal” even mean. And if I knew what it meant, would I actually want it anymore?
So, this is long. These details are for my personal record-keeping, and there’s a lot of emotion to sift through after going a whole year without seeing anyone who really knows you. I used to think that admitting I was homesick or lonely was admitting defeat, or weakness, or some other noun with a decidedly negative connotation. But I guess the bigger picture is that it’s more about honesty, which is never a bad thing. So I guess this was me trying to be honest.

so it's raining. what's new.

it's typhoon weather here in the korea, and elsewhere in asia, i guess. which means lots o' heavy rainfall, minus a feeling that i'm going to die. so i guess it's good to NOT be in a life threatening rainstorm. i honestly don't mind too much. gives me and excuse to not really do anything besides read or drink cheap wine on my excuse for a balcony, or to try and do both at the same time. but that falls into the realm of multi-tasking, and i've really just proven to be a horrible failure at that.

last night i had the second of hopefully many work parties. i have to be honest though, the first work party sort of blew. it included approximately 13 koreans and me. of course, being the one person who doesn't speak too much korean (enough to order food, get home in a taxi and perform basic, menial errands) i was a little left out of the whole 2.5 hour dinner. at that point, no one really made any effort to include me, either. but it was okay, something i tolerated because i had to for the sake of perceived manners and respect of cultural values, but it wouldn't have upset anyone, least of all myself, if i just hadn't been there at all. plus we went to the norae bong, which i hate. i really do. it's not a cultural thing, but i hate karaoke in america too. add all the smoke machines, bongos and plush stuffed animals you want, but it's really hard for me to perform in front of people (in many realms), unless extremely intoxicated. so while i appreciate the gesture of being handed a welch's grape soda, i need something a little stronger before i belt "dancing queen" to a room full of relative strangers. the best part of the last party was when the ringleader of all the teachers made us all give little speeches about the summer intensive program and say what we liked about all the other teachers. even if it's forced, i like that someone is making me think postive thoughts. i know you can't tell tone in written form, but there's no sarcasm here. sometimes i can't be optimistic unless someone makes it clear that there is no other recourse. dude, that's profound.

anyhoo, i survived the first party, so i had mentally, emotionally, physically prepared myself for the second one, which took place last night. we went to the restaurant for dinner at around 12. yup, midnight. show up at the restaurant and all i see is a big tank of fish. grreeat. i hadn't eaten all day (stupidity on my part), and this was what i was going to feast on--raw fish. but it actually wasn't terrible. with enough alcohol, i'll pretty much eat anything--bondaegi (silkworm larvae), octopus, squid, pig intestines. whatever, when in korea, do as the koreans do. i take that back, i won't ever intentionally eat dog. i won't be judgemental about it either, i just don't wanna. so i ate octopus last night. i ate a lot of octopus down in suncheon, but last night was the first time i ate it while it was still writhing in agony. one of the suckers stuck to my tongue for a while. that was a strange sensation.

so we ate and talked a lot. and i was completely included in all aspects of the evening. i guess it just makes a difference who you sit next to. but the people i work with are great people. great ladies. great koreans. because the two of the first korean women i ever met betrayed me so horribly, i think it took me a little longer than normal to warm up to a whole posse of korean women that i work with. but they're all so diverse in their styles (fashion and teaching), backgrounds and life experience, that i really just feel privileged to work with so many good, non-annoying humans. and because i'm the only foreign teacher at my school, i've got this huge sense of ownership and pride. it's a feeling i'm not wholly familiar with. i'm still waiting for something bad to happen. but in the meantime, i work hard because i feel like people are counting on me. being the only foreigner there, i think i'm inadvertently held more accountable for my actions. as a foreigner i'm already under the microscope. but as the only foreigner, there's no one else to divert attention. i like this. it also means my kids think i'm a celebrity. so if another foreign teacher ever comes along, my bubble will definitely burst.

around 2:30 we roll out of the fish restaurant. unfortunately one of the other teachers starts to yak as soon as she steps foot outside the restaurant. in front of all of us other teachers. so i felt bad for her. i was just glad it wasn't me. everyone else didn't seem to care too much. i don't know if it was on account of said barfing, or just because peeps weren't feeling it, but there was no norae bong. hallelujah! i'll eat bondaegi all night if it means i don't have to go to the fucking norae bong.

so that was my night.

in other news, i haven't been sleeping so well. it could be my anti "fan death" fan that automatically clicks off every two hours, but i think my body is now somehow attuned to these two hour cycles. at any rate, it was really difficult to get out of bed today at 1 pm. i wake up so much at night and then it takes hours to get back to sleep. maybe it's stress, but my life is actually pretty stress-free right now. maybe there's actually something physically wrong with me. i dunno. i just feel real tired-like all the time.

moving away from boring sleep anecdotes, i go to china on sunday. flying out of incheon at 5 in the pm. needless to say, i'm pretty fucking excited.

old people frighten me

i spent a lot of time on the subway today, which means i saw a lot of old people. and yes, i think they're scary. call it ageism. but i just prefer to call it fear. this applies to old peeps in america too. not just in the korea. i guess here i'm just around old people with more regularity than i ever was in america.

the particulars:

shoes. particularly on the women. these orthopedic/jellies hybrid shoes that remind me of old, shitty lattice work. the lattice work that adorns trailers--you know, to hide the underbelly. but the skin struggles against the confines of the shoe and bubbles out of each little hole. you know when you play with play-doh and you can squeeze it through this plastic contraption to make spaghetti? yeah, same deal. but there are also the ankle high stockings they wear, and again, the flesh is struggling against it so that it triumphantly bubbles over the top, unsightly ankle not quite hidden under the hem of probably pastel, highly-zippered polyester pants.

teeth. there's malice in them teeth! maybe it's not so much teeth as it is strange jawlines and underbites--a result of removed dentures and, well, age.

smell. this one could be unique to korea, as most of the time it involves the combination of those oh-so-korean elements of soju, kimchee and ginseng. ewwww. for the rest of my life, when i think of the subway, more than anything this smell is what i will immediately call to mind.

make-up. i tried to think of a nicer way to put it. but i guess i have no choice but to go with "garish." the face is a different color than the neck, and it looks like chalk. throw in some overly penciled eyebrows and some bitchin' lipliner, and you're set for a day at the market!

so that's that. and someday i'll be old and some young whippersnapper will be writing an arguably mean-spirited blog about me. i guess i just wonder when the switch happens. when do you actually become old. when do you start thinking like an old person? when do you first say, "hey, i think these tan-colored orthopedic shoes, polyester pants and floral top would make a pretty sweet ensemble"?

i guess old people scare me because aging is inevitable. in one of my classes the other day, the topic was "seize the day" (yeah, i know, we make the elementary school kids get really profound-like at my academy). but in their reading, it said that the average person lives until they're 68. which isn't even really that old. but we spend 1/3 of that time sleeping and are ultimately left with roughly 45 solid years of conscious life (the book had a misprint and said 23. 23's way more depressing than 45, i guess). and i found that so depressing. i mean, it is, isn't it? "what are our days of awe, and how shall we know them." (yeah, i know, i've already used this quote in a prior blog. but whatever.)

as the above paragraph might suggest, feeling sort of melancholy lately. i guess it had to come around again. first time i've felt that way in ilsan. changing weather, but no change in my life. "this day, cut from the sameness of days." i think i'll always equate fall with change of some sort. it's always seemed to be a very proactive season to me, tempered with an unplaceable, bittersweet undertone (i guess the latter only manifest if the former is lacking). growing up, fall always signified the start of something--out with the old, in with the new. new clothes, new semesters, new obligations. but where is the new now? anyway...

i got a new hoodie today. so maybe that's all i really needed. new goals would be a good idea...

oh yeah, forgot to mention, rereading some raymond carver. that could explain the funk as well. he's got a real depressing way about him...

i'll throw in one more quote for good measure. that's just the kind of gal i am. from what we talk about when we talk about love: "i could hear my heart beating. i could hear everyone's heart. i could hear the human noise we sat there making, not one of us moving, not even when the room went dark."

yet another reason i like my job...

there are inspirational quotes everywhere, most notably, in the bathroom (stalls and walls). and i'm not talking about the melodramatic "perseverence" or "determination" posters that you see in all the cubicles and guidance counselor offices of middle america (sorry, dad, i think you might have one of these posters).

my korean job has graham greene, rainer maria rilke and bertrand russell quotes hanging on the walls, translated into korean. i like the idea of one of these impressionable elementary or middle school kids stumbling upon any one of these authors while pissing/pooing at their english academy. seriously, i think it's great.

that's all.

just a regular night out in ilsan

so this weekend marked a first for me. my first night actually going out in ilsan. i guess i made a pretty good impression.

i met up with a friend i met through myspace, actually. i've been really good about making plans to meet this dude and then cancelling them. i'm nothing if not dependable...but saturday night ended that. after drinking some wine with my deener and a beer on the walk to his friend's apartment, i was excited to spy actual beefeater gin on the table. so we drank some gin and tonics, then vodka tonics while dancing around to 70s tunes and watching the friend's green birds fly across the room, plucking straw from the blinds to fortify a nest. it's weird to see living things here--aside from humans or tiny dogs with unnaturally dyed hair (although there is a pig at the pet store down the street). seems like i never see other living creatures here. where are the squirrels?


after drinking there, went to a bar. i dunno what the name of the bar was. i was already pretty drunk at this point, but i guess i think i'm superman or something. fuck, i can drink anything in any amount. so i had some beers and a shot (i think). anyhoo, it was all good clean fun for a while. dancing, molesting some innocent korean men. then there was some other chick dancing around a lot. she seemed to be the only other person there dancing. i can't pinpoint exactly how we ended up making out in front of a whole crowd of strangers in a well-lit bar, but we did. much to the pleasure of many a camera phone! great. but i guess we made out a lot. sloppy and stumbly. good times. man, it's been years since i kissed a girl! i don't know her name. i don't think she knows mine. whatever.

i'm not sure how i got home. i don't remember if i walked or got in a taxi or what. although i certainly like the idea of me trying to speak korean to a taxi driver when i was that fucking drunk. i seem to recall a lot of near falling down. which leads me to believe that i walked home. but la festa's (bar area) pretty fucking far from me. and judging by how sick i was when i got home, i can't imagine walking that far without yakking all over the place. actually, i think i did walk. anyway, it doesn't matter. i got home somehow. and yes, barfed a lot. yesterday may have been the worst hangover i've had in korea (besides the one where i yakked at the folk village in suncheon).

but yesterday at around 11 am, i got a call from the family i used to tutor in missouri. we had made plans to hang out on sunday afternoon. so i thought i had at least a couple more hours of total misery to get it together before meeting up with them. i was wrong. they were already on their way to come get me and i had to call and cancel. of course i hated doing that, but as the rest of the day easily proved, there was no way i could have made it through any sort of activity. i didn't finish barfing until 11 pm yesterday. i couldn't even sleep through it because as soon as i laid down i had to yak. as soon as i stood up i had to yak. with every breath i had to yak.

so i guess there are a couple morals here: 1) don't mix your alcohols 2) i will make out with anyone. both valuable nuggets of information.