i've been in ilsan for a little over a month now; but the first 3 weeks of my new job were spent commuting to and from seoul or other areas relatively far away from my home for work each day. despite the fact that i spent a large amount of time on the subway every day, it was okay, masturbation trauma and odd vegetable/soju combination smells aside. i sort of miss having a reason to take the subway every day. it made me feel important for no particular reason. i would spend my whole day trying to figure out just what important meeting/appointment/agenda was weighing me down. turns out, it was just my mode of transportation, and i'm not really important. damn.
so my first week in ilsan consisted of lots and lots of consecutive teaching. i believe i actually taught 10 50 minute classes on one of the days. plus i taught 4 two hour classes on saturday. this sort of schedule will only continue for one more week though, as it's summer intensive time right now. my students are actually technically on vacation, which really means no sleeping in or playing in the park it means happy fun english hagwon time! so one more week of this heavy schedule, and then it's back to 6 hours/day teaching in the afternoons/evenings. this is a schedule i actually really like. i'm looking forward to joining a gym and having productive mornings. maybe even getting into the habit of eating breakfast again. weird. i might even get a hobby i've been entertaining the notion of buying an easel and some paint or something to that effect. i wouldn't know exactly how to begin, but whatever. i've seen lots of art that looks like a 4 year old created it. i suppose you have to start somewhere. i'm pretty good at drawing bicycles and trashcans?
but back to my job. a lot of people might think i've got a shitty deal in korea, but most people haven't been so totally fucked over by their first gig in korea (chuncheon), so to me every job is a step up. suncheon was better than chuncheon. and now ilsan's better than suncheon. it's pretty easy to get teaching jobs here where you don't have to do much. and i don't want to sound like a self-righteous asshole, but i actually enjoy working hard, provided my efforts are recognized and adequately compensated. i hate sitting around not doing anything. there's nothing that makes me feel so small or useless. moments you can never get back, wasted on absolutely nothing but sitting and killing (however passively) time.
i guess i have a pretty solid work ethic. that probably comes from my parents. or maybe years of playing basketball. hmm, high school. funny. perhaps all that verbal abuse from coach jones and coach thompson actually did affect me in a long-term sense. i mean, besides my continuing and unfailing 3-pointer prowess and inability to take criticism without crying incontrollably in front of all my cunty teammates. good times. i'm digressing here, but my dad used to come and sit in the bleachers sometimes during practice. so any time coach jones was particularly rough on me, i could see him up there and feel a little better about myself, not die running one more suicide. fuck! high school basketball drama. jamie reed's fried blonde hair and her unjustified vendetta against me and jules. not being able to afford the shoes that the rest of the team was buying. some other cunt knocking the wind out of me at practice and laughing while i laid on the floor choking and crying. of course i cried. that's all i seemed to do at practice.
that whole part of my life feels so foreign to me, probably because it was 12 years ago. and yet it was so integral. i guess only the physical, tangible events of that time seem foggy. but there's definitely a part of me that can recall and revisit, with a sort of comforting clarity, the range of emotions i felt 12 years ago. i think a lot of those unresolved high school issues in my head never left me. i'm oddly grateful for that. i don't know why. i'm still as awkward as i used to be, but now i drink, so somehow that counteracts/diverts any potential devastation. i'm still not exactly a part of the cool crowd. always relegated to the periphery. i still dress as though i'm homeless (in the words of my high school crush. how very high school of me indeed...). the things that hurt me or delighted me in high school--words said, deeds done--still resonate. i don't know if that's good or bad. so many people tend to dwell on the "glory days" (note: college had no glory days for me. that was an uphill battle every fucking day in every fucking aspect--financially, socially, educationally. i fucking hated college.). i'm sort of one of those glory dwellers, i guess. but i've done enough significant things in the 10 years since i graduated that i don't feel like high school was "it" for me. but it was definitely a defining part of my life, and i do like to think about the me of high school. the uncertain, awkard me reading the balcony scene of romeo and juliet in mrs. thompson's 9th grade english class. the awkward me that had no idea what the fuck was going on in my trigonometry class. the really good stuff like geography club, field trips, son volt and chert. hmm. insert nostalgic emoticon.
back to my new rad-tastic job. there are maybe 9 or 10 other korean teachers. i teach all of their students one hour per week while they see them repeatedly. so the traffic in my classroom is pretty constant. that's the only part that sucks. i only see each individual student 50 minutes/week (aside from the special weekend classes) so i don't get to foster any real sort of relationship with them. but the cool thing is that i actually am teaching essay writing and debate. each class has a different book (that all the students actually have! a definite plus and a HUGE step up from suncheon and chuncheon ...). every two weeks there's a new topic. for example, my youngest kids had to discuss why fur coats were good this week. next week they have to discuss/write about why fur coats are bad. other topics this week were corporal punishment, organic foods, and elective classes in high school. i get to teach my students proper essay-writing format. so that's very very cool to me. seems to have been my forte back in the day.
i've also spent a good deal of time interviewing students to decide which class they belonged in. after doing this at one of the other branches of my hagwon, two of the teachers there told me i had a really great talent for understanding kids. then they both asked me to please not leave their school. even more than teaching effectively and the praise that came with that this past week, people saying that i can really relate to kids was the best possible compliment.
i truly feel that for the first time in my life i have a real job, with real responsibilities. not that pizza maker, ice cream scooper, set designer and chauffer to asians weren't all real jobs in themselves, but this is different. i'm an integral cog in a wheel, which is something i've never actually been before. my school actually cannot function without me. it's exhausting, but so validating, which is all i've ever really wanted.
my korean co-teachers adore me and think i'm a great teacher, and i feel really energized and even cocky about the fact that i know i'm doing a good job. i have the utmost confidence in my abilities. and that, too, is a completely foreign feeling to me. for all the korean things i complain about, i do have to remember that as far as my actual person goes, korea has done as many great things for me as it has bad. of course i only tend to dwell/expound [up]on the negative, but i think that's just my nature. maybe not everyone's nature, but definitely mine. i've become more self-sufficient and genuinely confident in my abilities (in the teaching realm, not in any other areas. i've probably actually digressed socially. but the cool thing is that it doesn't bother me as much as it used to).
as for other parts of my life, i don't really do much. i've sort of just sequestered myself, taking a break from a social life and the drinking and the bad decision making. i'm probably the only person in the world who would want to be quarantined with my thoughts, so it's in everyone's best interest. which is not to indicate that they're particularly profound or psychotic thoughts i'm having. they're just mine. but i've read a LOT in the past month and i've not really spent a lot of money. it's good. things are very calm right now. i'm sure at some point i'll crave some more excitement in my life. but right now i thoroughly enjoy shutting myself up in my awesome apartment (or starbucks. yeah, i know, lots of people have problems with starbucks. i don't give a fuck.) and not talking to people for hours, even days. some people might find it hard to believe that a person could enjoy not having any social interactions, but right now i feel incredibly free, good and (gag!) introspective. i don't owe anyone any conversation, i don't have to pretend to be interested in anyone but myself. sounds selfish, but i guess that's just how i roll.
oh, i'm going bungee jumping soon. that should be interesting.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
day off.
well, not really, i had to teach one class. big sigh. yesterday i taught 9 classes. it's sposed to be summer intensive classes for the next two weeks--denoting reaaaallly long days--but my schedule doesn't really seem too intense. tomorrow i was sposed to have the whole day off, but i have to go in and level test the childrens for my weekend class. yes, i meant to type childrens. it just sounded cute, and since i'm drinking a beer at 4:07 pm, i feel like being cute.
some things. i got a desk. a computer desk. it's real nice. so my computer is no longer sitting on the floor, requiring me to lay on my stomach and type. that was a bit uncomfortable.
here are some things i am currently in like with:
-lists. i feel like i haven't been making very many lists lately. and now that i've started this one, i realize how much i missed them. a list is a nice thing.
-my landlord, mr. kim. when i came home at 6 in the morning the other day, he wasn't judgemental he just wanted me to tell him exactly how many bottles of beer i'd consumed so he could decide if i was as good a drinker as he is. i remember my first night in this new apartment, i asked him where the nearest grocery store was and he walked me to the lotte mart by my apartment. then he made me buy him 2 bottles of soju for the trouble. that set me back a whole $2 or so. he has a wonky eye. and i wonder how one's eye becomes that way. was this a natural part of his aging process (yes, he's old. and also very short). was there some accident in recent or ancient history that made his eye that way. was he born that way. i'm curious. he sort of looks like a turtle, his neck and head sinking--pitched forward ever so slightly--under the bulk of a dirty blue uniform shirt that is 3 sizes too big for his seemingly shrinking stature. he wrote my address for me on a yellow, aged piece of paper in both korean and english. i can't imagine how long that took him. his self-assigned homework. he is always passed out in his little landlord booth in my apartment lobby at 3 in the afternoon, and when he comes to he excitedly yells hello and waves to me as the elevator doors are closing, his greeting abruptly muted. he's a funny, pleasant old korean man. and he says i am his friend.
-the dirty three and blonde redhead. i've been listening to both of them for a few years now, but i guess just not paying attention. many the lengthy subway commute under my belt now, and i have been listening to these two bands over and over and over and over and over....you get the picture.
-my new job. i normally work 6 days a week, but when i'm actually doing my job, it's so easy to be an effective teacher. i'm busy the entire time i'm at work and i feel like i'm valued as both a human being and an english teacher. the korean teachers at my school work infinitely harder than i do and seem to genuinely enjoy their job and my presence. though other foreign teachers seem to complain about basic tenets of their job that they are expected to honor, i have no complaints thusfar about any aspect of my actual job. i'll be honest, the commute was starting to suck, but now it's done. always nice to quit doing something before you reach a breaking point you know exists somewhere.
-ilsan. i really don't know it that well yet (still...this is the first week i haven't had to commute to seoul for some work-related reason). it's very clean. my apartment is great, and there's a nice tree-canopied walkway that runs parallel to the street my hagwon is on. walking under those trees today felt like i was in an urban jungle of sorts. well, not really. but i like the idea of it seeming like an urban jungle, no matter how remotely. things are green. it's muggy. there are several playgrounds (just like in the jungle, right?). no monkeys or other jungle animals, but lots of bikes to dodge, mothers and children haphazardly navigating the pavement together. the pace of life here seems relaxed and lazy. lazy with the good connotation. people, make a note, i'm saying positive things about my life and about korea.
-beyonce. i dunno, she's just cool.
i guess that's a decent-sized list. i had a good weekend. worked on friday and saturday, but saturday night i actually went out and about drinking and whatnot. seems like i haven't done that too much lately (aside from earlier in the week last week when i went out with clayton and co. and ended up doing tequila body shots off another female teacher i work with. NEVER buy the whole bottle of tequila). but back to saturday. met a friend from columbia in the hongdae area. we actually hadn't hung out too much back in missouri, but based on our brief interaction, i knew he was cool as hell. went to a place called skunk hell. didn't actually go in, but hung out outside. something about drinking warm beer outside a punk rock venue made me feel really happy and really comfortable. i know i don't really look too punk rock, but it's comforting to see people who have escaped the traditional sort of roles assigned to them by korean society. if someone had shown me a picture of this place and the clientele, i wouldn't have believed it was in korea. lots of suspenders, pompadour haircuts, tattoos, piercings, plaid. and all on korean ladies and gents. foreigners too, but that's nothing too shocking. i would have expected this sort of vibe in japan, but never in korea. i was pleasantly surprised.
also went to a couple other places. one of which was a dancey sort of place where i sweated my balls off and danced like a fool. the other place had a bunch o' bands playing. i'm never optimistic about live music in korea. i've seen some foreigner bands before, and they tend to be shitty cover bands, as well as painful reminders of the wealth of unique, live music that was at my disposal back in the america. the venue itself was sort of uncomfortable. i guess not the place, but some of the people there. they just seemed condescending, and not even for any real reason. it was a party to promote some indie rock magazine. and yet, at the punk club where the people should have been intimidating and cold, they weren't. anyhoo, only two bands were really notable. the first band was galaxy express, a korean punk band. they were fucking amazing. i was totally blown away. i did not expect to hear these guitars and that sound from these three dudes (incidentally, they were korean. only really notable because they tried to say some things to the mostly english speaking audience, but had some difficulty. it was charming though). the best part was that they played kick out the jams as their last song. a lot of people probably don't think that's too notable, but again, you would never EVER hear mc5 in korea. i don't know how they fucking knew that song! the other band was we need surgery. all foreigners, sort of like clinic i guess, very danceable. i was impressed to see musicians who weren't tools and who actually didn't suck.
there was this other band that was sort of ridiculous. they were a "funk" outfit. but the lead singer/guitarist you would have never guessed could play guitar. so they'd be in their song, where uber-white lead singer is sort of scatting and then he'd just break out into this gratuitous guitar solo that went on for 5 minutes. don't get me wrong, he was very talented, but it all just seemed so random. he was clearly a dude in korea because he couldn't get any pussy at home. and surely that guitar solo was going to win him some points with the throng of adoring [asian] ladies? fair enough.
at the end of the night, went to a park nearby, where lots of different demographics of people were just hanging out, drinking, swinging, playing music, whatever. it felt very comfortable, very familiar. and it was a healthy mix of koreans and foreigners. most of the time in korea you're accutely tuned in to where you are by something that you perceive to be either slightly skewed or totally fucked up. it's not really easy to forget where you are and to not label things as korean or not korean. but on this night, things were just so easy. labels were stripped. people were just people. bands were just bands. the park was just a park. korean, foreigner, it mattered not. i guess that's what i would define as comfort. being able to do things without feeling obligated to put some sort of label on them to either justify or condemn them. i do that all the time and i hate it.
it was nice to come home without the burden of that familiar sinking feeling, the physical manifesation of desperation to which i've been accustomed on many the occassion. i have this habit of staying out way too late, waiting for something amazing and life-affirming to happen. i did it in columbia. i did it in suncheon. haven't really done it too much here. saturday when i got home, i was exhausted. but i wasn't drunk, and i felt like some part of me had been satiated. a sense of satisfaction that's been missing from a lot of my social ventures.
so yeah, got home early in the morning. sun coming up. refreshingly sober. it was a good night. i felt like i had something to show for my weekend, and the past couple of months in general. the music and everything sort of woke me up, jolted me out of this apathetic funk i've been in for a while. apparently there's a music festival in incheon this weekend. haven't decided if i'm going yet, but i think i really have no choice. i owe it to myself and the rest of my time in korea to see whatever limited musical offering there is.
some things. i got a desk. a computer desk. it's real nice. so my computer is no longer sitting on the floor, requiring me to lay on my stomach and type. that was a bit uncomfortable.
here are some things i am currently in like with:
-lists. i feel like i haven't been making very many lists lately. and now that i've started this one, i realize how much i missed them. a list is a nice thing.
-my landlord, mr. kim. when i came home at 6 in the morning the other day, he wasn't judgemental he just wanted me to tell him exactly how many bottles of beer i'd consumed so he could decide if i was as good a drinker as he is. i remember my first night in this new apartment, i asked him where the nearest grocery store was and he walked me to the lotte mart by my apartment. then he made me buy him 2 bottles of soju for the trouble. that set me back a whole $2 or so. he has a wonky eye. and i wonder how one's eye becomes that way. was this a natural part of his aging process (yes, he's old. and also very short). was there some accident in recent or ancient history that made his eye that way. was he born that way. i'm curious. he sort of looks like a turtle, his neck and head sinking--pitched forward ever so slightly--under the bulk of a dirty blue uniform shirt that is 3 sizes too big for his seemingly shrinking stature. he wrote my address for me on a yellow, aged piece of paper in both korean and english. i can't imagine how long that took him. his self-assigned homework. he is always passed out in his little landlord booth in my apartment lobby at 3 in the afternoon, and when he comes to he excitedly yells hello and waves to me as the elevator doors are closing, his greeting abruptly muted. he's a funny, pleasant old korean man. and he says i am his friend.
-the dirty three and blonde redhead. i've been listening to both of them for a few years now, but i guess just not paying attention. many the lengthy subway commute under my belt now, and i have been listening to these two bands over and over and over and over and over....you get the picture.
-my new job. i normally work 6 days a week, but when i'm actually doing my job, it's so easy to be an effective teacher. i'm busy the entire time i'm at work and i feel like i'm valued as both a human being and an english teacher. the korean teachers at my school work infinitely harder than i do and seem to genuinely enjoy their job and my presence. though other foreign teachers seem to complain about basic tenets of their job that they are expected to honor, i have no complaints thusfar about any aspect of my actual job. i'll be honest, the commute was starting to suck, but now it's done. always nice to quit doing something before you reach a breaking point you know exists somewhere.
-ilsan. i really don't know it that well yet (still...this is the first week i haven't had to commute to seoul for some work-related reason). it's very clean. my apartment is great, and there's a nice tree-canopied walkway that runs parallel to the street my hagwon is on. walking under those trees today felt like i was in an urban jungle of sorts. well, not really. but i like the idea of it seeming like an urban jungle, no matter how remotely. things are green. it's muggy. there are several playgrounds (just like in the jungle, right?). no monkeys or other jungle animals, but lots of bikes to dodge, mothers and children haphazardly navigating the pavement together. the pace of life here seems relaxed and lazy. lazy with the good connotation. people, make a note, i'm saying positive things about my life and about korea.
-beyonce. i dunno, she's just cool.
i guess that's a decent-sized list. i had a good weekend. worked on friday and saturday, but saturday night i actually went out and about drinking and whatnot. seems like i haven't done that too much lately (aside from earlier in the week last week when i went out with clayton and co. and ended up doing tequila body shots off another female teacher i work with. NEVER buy the whole bottle of tequila). but back to saturday. met a friend from columbia in the hongdae area. we actually hadn't hung out too much back in missouri, but based on our brief interaction, i knew he was cool as hell. went to a place called skunk hell. didn't actually go in, but hung out outside. something about drinking warm beer outside a punk rock venue made me feel really happy and really comfortable. i know i don't really look too punk rock, but it's comforting to see people who have escaped the traditional sort of roles assigned to them by korean society. if someone had shown me a picture of this place and the clientele, i wouldn't have believed it was in korea. lots of suspenders, pompadour haircuts, tattoos, piercings, plaid. and all on korean ladies and gents. foreigners too, but that's nothing too shocking. i would have expected this sort of vibe in japan, but never in korea. i was pleasantly surprised.
also went to a couple other places. one of which was a dancey sort of place where i sweated my balls off and danced like a fool. the other place had a bunch o' bands playing. i'm never optimistic about live music in korea. i've seen some foreigner bands before, and they tend to be shitty cover bands, as well as painful reminders of the wealth of unique, live music that was at my disposal back in the america. the venue itself was sort of uncomfortable. i guess not the place, but some of the people there. they just seemed condescending, and not even for any real reason. it was a party to promote some indie rock magazine. and yet, at the punk club where the people should have been intimidating and cold, they weren't. anyhoo, only two bands were really notable. the first band was galaxy express, a korean punk band. they were fucking amazing. i was totally blown away. i did not expect to hear these guitars and that sound from these three dudes (incidentally, they were korean. only really notable because they tried to say some things to the mostly english speaking audience, but had some difficulty. it was charming though). the best part was that they played kick out the jams as their last song. a lot of people probably don't think that's too notable, but again, you would never EVER hear mc5 in korea. i don't know how they fucking knew that song! the other band was we need surgery. all foreigners, sort of like clinic i guess, very danceable. i was impressed to see musicians who weren't tools and who actually didn't suck.
there was this other band that was sort of ridiculous. they were a "funk" outfit. but the lead singer/guitarist you would have never guessed could play guitar. so they'd be in their song, where uber-white lead singer is sort of scatting and then he'd just break out into this gratuitous guitar solo that went on for 5 minutes. don't get me wrong, he was very talented, but it all just seemed so random. he was clearly a dude in korea because he couldn't get any pussy at home. and surely that guitar solo was going to win him some points with the throng of adoring [asian] ladies? fair enough.
at the end of the night, went to a park nearby, where lots of different demographics of people were just hanging out, drinking, swinging, playing music, whatever. it felt very comfortable, very familiar. and it was a healthy mix of koreans and foreigners. most of the time in korea you're accutely tuned in to where you are by something that you perceive to be either slightly skewed or totally fucked up. it's not really easy to forget where you are and to not label things as korean or not korean. but on this night, things were just so easy. labels were stripped. people were just people. bands were just bands. the park was just a park. korean, foreigner, it mattered not. i guess that's what i would define as comfort. being able to do things without feeling obligated to put some sort of label on them to either justify or condemn them. i do that all the time and i hate it.
it was nice to come home without the burden of that familiar sinking feeling, the physical manifesation of desperation to which i've been accustomed on many the occassion. i have this habit of staying out way too late, waiting for something amazing and life-affirming to happen. i did it in columbia. i did it in suncheon. haven't really done it too much here. saturday when i got home, i was exhausted. but i wasn't drunk, and i felt like some part of me had been satiated. a sense of satisfaction that's been missing from a lot of my social ventures.
so yeah, got home early in the morning. sun coming up. refreshingly sober. it was a good night. i felt like i had something to show for my weekend, and the past couple of months in general. the music and everything sort of woke me up, jolted me out of this apathetic funk i've been in for a while. apparently there's a music festival in incheon this weekend. haven't decided if i'm going yet, but i think i really have no choice. i owe it to myself and the rest of my time in korea to see whatever limited musical offering there is.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
mudfest and masturbation. ho hum...
let's start with the masturbation first, always a good icebreaker. i had to catch the subway very very early this morning to make it to work by 8. still commuting whilst training. starting to get old, but i won't dwell on that. it's good productive time for reading and listening to some jammy jams, provided i can stay awake long enough to make the most of it. something about all forms of transportation makes me really sleepy.
so this morning i pass out. nothing out of the ordinary. zooming along. i wake up two stops before where i need to depart (notice how i decided not to say "get off..."). i was sitting in the very corner of one of the rows of seats. across from me was the very end of the other regular seats, with the doorway and then the handicap seats. some really old man was dozing in and out of consciousness in the old peeps section, but we were both awake enough to see the middle-aged man masturbating not 5 feet from where i was sitting. quite the shock in the am to see a korean man's penis on display in my mode of public transportation. so needless to say, i wasn't quite sure if i was seeing what i was seeing. i sort of just saw his profile (all things included), and then he turned toward the sliding doors, his back to me. the doors opened, so i assumed he was going to exit the car, but he didn't, he just kept jerking off while the doors opened and closed inches away from him. then he turned back towards me, eyes sort of glazed over and looking up at the ceiling. and there's his dinkus in his hand, excitedly poking out of his shorts. so then i turned away, horrified. the old man in the handicap seat and i made eye contact and we both stood up and walked away.
i can sort of make light of the situation now, x number of hours later, but at the time i was really fucking freaked out--this, yet another bout of sexual misbehavior i've been privy to in the last year. i'm all for sexual harassment in jest, but when it comes down to the real deal and a situation being out of my control, i don't deal well. actual sexual perversion and deviance freaks the living shit out of me. unless it's hot and consensual in the bedroom. but a subway car in seoul is not my bedroom (not to mention the fact that it would never ever be a middle-aged korean man with a small dong in my hot, consensual world), and i definitely would not have agreed to be a witness in his scenario. i foggily stumbled up the stairs to get the fuck out of that subway station, trembling and actually nauseaus. i still haven't shaken that imagery from my brain. i dunno. just what if there had been kids on the subway? that would have been horrifying.
in other news, i went to the monet exhibit at the sorry excuse for an art museum that's in seoul. i dunno. i'm just glad i had my mp3 player. in japan, there were hardly any people there, it was a rainy day, it was perfect. here, it was a national holiday, so everyone and all their children were at the art museum. the regular rules of no rules or discernible turn taking or general decency applied. people pushing and shoving, kids and adults (some with corn on their fingers)getting way too close to the art while the aloof girls who were supposed to monitor that shit sighed audibly and stared off into the distance, clearly distressed by their assigned roles. art lovers, all of them, i'm sure (yeah, yeah, like i'm one to talk). what should have been a serene and potentially reflective environment looked like a "play date" organized by all the bored housewives of seoul. and hey, young people, here's some art to play with. plus the inherent whininess of a room full of small children. so yeah, me and the dirty three took in some monet. what i realized, besides the reiterant disappointment in/ confirmation of several stereotypes about koreans that have held true in any public setting, is that i actually like monet more than i thought i did. so that's good i guess. i think my whole day was sort of bound to have a downward, pessimistic slant after the events of the very early morning. had the masturbating man not materialized, i might not have had such a negative impression of my afternoon. moving on...
it was mudfest this weekend, where it was dismally revealed to me that douchebags transcend gender, culture, race, etc. don't get me wrong, i had a great time, but your average foreigner here in the korea is a total fucking alcholic (myself included) who thoroughly enjoys making an ass out of him/herself, much to the chagrin and already arguably heightened judgement of koreans. sure, they should be happy that their festivals are a way for foreigners to spend lots o' money in korea, but it's a double edged sword of sorts. we spend lots of money, but ultimately display a lot of totally regrettable, irresponsible behavior in the process. yes, korea, we are what military personnel and english teachers look like. seems to exacerbate what already seems like a pretty superficial layer of cultural tolerance on both sides. we do stupid shit that begs scrutiny, and then we resent the scrutiny that inevitably ensues. and shit, see the prior paragraph about my complaints. i hate that i've been reduced to this judgemental, culturally insensitive asshole as my very judgment and cultural insensitivity make me the exact same kind of asshole that i silently loathe (i'm not talking about very obvious legit reasons like subway masturbation, i'm talking about my general, everyday sentiments that i try not to speak of because they make me feel guilty, despite their increasing prevalence. i guess i spend a lot of time feeling guilty for not being as culturally sensitive as i would ideally envision myself to be). oh yeah, but a bunch of fucktards kept saying shit when they walked by me on the beach like "yeah, i'd totally fuck you." hey, chad, i speak english. fucking alpha males. so yeah, foreigner alpha males and public masturbation. good times for a gal here in korea. i guess i could argue this whole situation in circles. seems like i've done that since i've been here. problem is, admitting any guilt doesn't make things any better.
anyway, parts of mudfest that were fun...drinking with fike and erica, getting muddy (albeit for a very brief amount of time), hazily navigating my way back to seoul on sunday, with the help of a dude who was a lot smarter than me. oh, and always that initial, startling taste of salt when you wade out into the sea after so much time has passed. the beach at night, being honestly and decently flirted with (aforementioned tactless douchebags aside). so those were the good things.
fuck, i sound negative. i know that, at least today, all my bad vibes should be borne on the shoulders/penis of one guy on the seoul metro.
so this morning i pass out. nothing out of the ordinary. zooming along. i wake up two stops before where i need to depart (notice how i decided not to say "get off..."). i was sitting in the very corner of one of the rows of seats. across from me was the very end of the other regular seats, with the doorway and then the handicap seats. some really old man was dozing in and out of consciousness in the old peeps section, but we were both awake enough to see the middle-aged man masturbating not 5 feet from where i was sitting. quite the shock in the am to see a korean man's penis on display in my mode of public transportation. so needless to say, i wasn't quite sure if i was seeing what i was seeing. i sort of just saw his profile (all things included), and then he turned toward the sliding doors, his back to me. the doors opened, so i assumed he was going to exit the car, but he didn't, he just kept jerking off while the doors opened and closed inches away from him. then he turned back towards me, eyes sort of glazed over and looking up at the ceiling. and there's his dinkus in his hand, excitedly poking out of his shorts. so then i turned away, horrified. the old man in the handicap seat and i made eye contact and we both stood up and walked away.
i can sort of make light of the situation now, x number of hours later, but at the time i was really fucking freaked out--this, yet another bout of sexual misbehavior i've been privy to in the last year. i'm all for sexual harassment in jest, but when it comes down to the real deal and a situation being out of my control, i don't deal well. actual sexual perversion and deviance freaks the living shit out of me. unless it's hot and consensual in the bedroom. but a subway car in seoul is not my bedroom (not to mention the fact that it would never ever be a middle-aged korean man with a small dong in my hot, consensual world), and i definitely would not have agreed to be a witness in his scenario. i foggily stumbled up the stairs to get the fuck out of that subway station, trembling and actually nauseaus. i still haven't shaken that imagery from my brain. i dunno. just what if there had been kids on the subway? that would have been horrifying.
in other news, i went to the monet exhibit at the sorry excuse for an art museum that's in seoul. i dunno. i'm just glad i had my mp3 player. in japan, there were hardly any people there, it was a rainy day, it was perfect. here, it was a national holiday, so everyone and all their children were at the art museum. the regular rules of no rules or discernible turn taking or general decency applied. people pushing and shoving, kids and adults (some with corn on their fingers)getting way too close to the art while the aloof girls who were supposed to monitor that shit sighed audibly and stared off into the distance, clearly distressed by their assigned roles. art lovers, all of them, i'm sure (yeah, yeah, like i'm one to talk). what should have been a serene and potentially reflective environment looked like a "play date" organized by all the bored housewives of seoul. and hey, young people, here's some art to play with. plus the inherent whininess of a room full of small children. so yeah, me and the dirty three took in some monet. what i realized, besides the reiterant disappointment in/ confirmation of several stereotypes about koreans that have held true in any public setting, is that i actually like monet more than i thought i did. so that's good i guess. i think my whole day was sort of bound to have a downward, pessimistic slant after the events of the very early morning. had the masturbating man not materialized, i might not have had such a negative impression of my afternoon. moving on...
it was mudfest this weekend, where it was dismally revealed to me that douchebags transcend gender, culture, race, etc. don't get me wrong, i had a great time, but your average foreigner here in the korea is a total fucking alcholic (myself included) who thoroughly enjoys making an ass out of him/herself, much to the chagrin and already arguably heightened judgement of koreans. sure, they should be happy that their festivals are a way for foreigners to spend lots o' money in korea, but it's a double edged sword of sorts. we spend lots of money, but ultimately display a lot of totally regrettable, irresponsible behavior in the process. yes, korea, we are what military personnel and english teachers look like. seems to exacerbate what already seems like a pretty superficial layer of cultural tolerance on both sides. we do stupid shit that begs scrutiny, and then we resent the scrutiny that inevitably ensues. and shit, see the prior paragraph about my complaints. i hate that i've been reduced to this judgemental, culturally insensitive asshole as my very judgment and cultural insensitivity make me the exact same kind of asshole that i silently loathe (i'm not talking about very obvious legit reasons like subway masturbation, i'm talking about my general, everyday sentiments that i try not to speak of because they make me feel guilty, despite their increasing prevalence. i guess i spend a lot of time feeling guilty for not being as culturally sensitive as i would ideally envision myself to be). oh yeah, but a bunch of fucktards kept saying shit when they walked by me on the beach like "yeah, i'd totally fuck you." hey, chad, i speak english. fucking alpha males. so yeah, foreigner alpha males and public masturbation. good times for a gal here in korea. i guess i could argue this whole situation in circles. seems like i've done that since i've been here. problem is, admitting any guilt doesn't make things any better.
anyway, parts of mudfest that were fun...drinking with fike and erica, getting muddy (albeit for a very brief amount of time), hazily navigating my way back to seoul on sunday, with the help of a dude who was a lot smarter than me. oh, and always that initial, startling taste of salt when you wade out into the sea after so much time has passed. the beach at night, being honestly and decently flirted with (aforementioned tactless douchebags aside). so those were the good things.
fuck, i sound negative. i know that, at least today, all my bad vibes should be borne on the shoulders/penis of one guy on the seoul metro.
i'm an idiot. fukuoka part one.
this was the first part of my fukuoka trip, that i posted on myspace, but didn't post here. sorry to the few people in the world who actually read this blog and noticed that part one of my two part series was missing...
i'm in my hostel in fukuoka, japan. typing a blog until i get this elusive confirmation email with some code in it that i will then write down and take to the korean consulate to get my visa. if i was only here for two days, this waiting around for said email would be annoying, but as it is, i'm here until monday, and i still have 2 completely full days ahead of me to be a tourist. and i guess a lot of time to blog too. plus, it's raining. so apparently that's s'posed to affect productivity too. but i think sitting here moving my fingers over a keyboard is the very definition of productive--each second yielding some new object/letter. i'm tired.
a recap of recent achievements is in order. maybe when i finish writing this the email will be waiting for me in my inbox. virtual fingers crossed.
first, it's pretty great that i've been at my new job all of a week and a half, grading those charmingly botched essays, and then they send me to japan for 4 days. i can't really complain about that. they even gave me money for a hotel. i still opted for the cheap hostel, simply because less money spent on lodgings means more money for things that make me intoxicated and accompanying fried food items (i'm thinking tempura. haven't actually eaten any yet, but i'm planning on it. today's the day!!!( hmm, the closing parenthesis doesn't want to work. please note my effort. also, there's always a part of me that likes to think i have that backpacker spirit/ethos/whatever you want to call it. i have a backpack. but then when i got here i switched my room from one of the communal, hey-4-people-who don't-know-each-other-are-going-to-swap-travel-stories-and-one-of-them-is-going-to-snore-and-one-of-them-is-going-to-be-really-fucking-annoying varieties to the more comfortable and anti-social 2 beds, 1 person room. that's how i roll. i already deal with all korea's collectivism on a daily basis. no thanks.
shit, i just remembered that a dude stole my umbrella last night. i say this as i look at rain streaming in through the open window of the common area. it's gonna be a wet one. or i guess it already is a wet one. fudge.
my day yesterday was very long. i was mostly coherant for damn near 24 hours. i woke up at 4:30 in ilsan because i had to catch the bus to the incheon airport at 5:50. this was supposedly the time for the first bus, but i got there early and conveniently, the bus did too. i like it when things immediately go right that early in the morning. a good travel omen, perhaps.
caught my flight at 8 to fukuoka. waited in the longest customs/immigration line known to man and checked my email at the airport. no confirmation number. then i found my hostel, but i couldn't check in for another 4 or so hours so i went temple hopping. there was one subway stop that is literally surrounded by all these different temples. and i've said this so much about asia, but it's remarkable how visible the fusion of the past and present is. high rise buildings closing in on centuries-old buddhist temples. a fact that still amazes me with certain regularity. temple culture (if you can call it such a thing( in japan, fukuoka at least, is a lot different than in korea. all the temples i went to had virtually no people at them. so that was great for me, taking lots of pictures and indulging my inner tourist.
the best temple i stumbled across was also a cemetery. it was absolutely, awesomely beautiful. the entrance to the actual temple was closed, covered by scaffolding, so my intent was just to take a few pictures and leave. but i walked through a totally generic archway and was immediately overwhelmed by a sea of huge, acient looking stones with people's names inscribed in them, an altar for flowers and two accompanying urns. the way the stones had aged, the combined elements of weather and time and dirt and leaves! it was a truly organic atmosphere, the rich peaty smell surrounding. fukuoka also has large, knobby trees, covered in that furry layer of damp moss. i took a lot of pictures. they will be posted to the flickr page at some point.
after the temple excursion, did some window shopping near my hostel. they have vending machines for cigarettes. interesting.
came back to my room and tried to take a nap (remember, up since 4:30 am(, but apparently some people are building something right outside my room's window. the soothing sounds of chainsaws, jackhammers and heavy things being dropped/nailed/hammered/ or otherwise violated. no nap. sad jamie.
decided to go look for the atm machine that was rumored to accept korean debit cards. so after asking 5 different people at 5 different hotels, i finally found it. it's interesting, i think in korea there are more random people with the potential to help you because they speak a little bit of english. i've had a hell of a time here communicating anything. so many people speak absolutely no english, and a lot of the signs don't even have english on them (note: this is mere observation, not judgement. i know. it's japan, why should they speak english or have english signage...(. even my trusty hand gestures aren't cutting it. i guess i underestimate how much the smallest bit of korean that i know helps me in everyday mundane situations. here, i just keep thinking domo arigato mr. roboto. that song's on a loop in my brain. how unfortunate. is that rush or styx? i hope the people who should find that funny....
post atm triumph, headed to the lively part of the city to look for a particular reggae bar. i found it, after some roundabout navigating. the curry was fantastic. and there was no accompanying plate of kimchi, no red pepper taste or smell. a small bar, not too many people. good times. 2 guinness beers consumed. note that i added 'beers'. that's because i don't know how to pluralize guinness. while i was there i chatted it up with a frenchie who's been travelling/teaching esl for the past 26 years. went with him to another bar, met some new people from australia and england. frenchie left, so i integrated with his peeps. me and 2 of the more adventurous of the bunch decided to go bar-hopping. very fun. a tower of heineken. picked up 3 other random people as well, one of whom was an amazing dancer. he took us to a dance club. no one else was dancing, but he didn't seem to mind. shit, what's that movie with the b2k dudes in it? he could dance like one of them. what is that guy's fucking name? omarion. he could dance like omarion. i think it's funny that at this particular computer in japan, the next time anyone googles any b word, b2k is going to pop up.
the real adventure of the day was getting back to the hostel. i had come and gone to/from the hostel several times during the day, when it was light out, when the subway was open. i thought that surely the address written in japanese on the business card would be enough for the cab driver. but it wasn't. he started rubbing on my leg, so i stopped the taxi not knowing where i was. soaking wet in the downpour. i bought an umbrella (yes, the one that was promptly swiped by a convenient mart employee...( and began soliciting help from random convenient store people. taxi driver had no idea where the hostel was, and neither did most of the convenient mart people. i think i was on convenient mart number 4 when i finally lost it and started crying uncontrollably, much to the terror of the young japanese workers around me. it was now almost 4 in the am and i hadn't slept in nearly 24 hours. so that, factored in with being intoxicated, lost, not knowing a goddamn word of japanese, creepster feeling me up in the cab made for a pretty pathetic situation. i finally made it home though, after much map consultation and the kindness of these two gentlemen.
oh yeah, why am i so tired right now. i got back to the hostel right around 4 after being up for nearly 24 hours, and then was woken up by the current construction project at 8 am. yes, even in the rain they hammer away. so all told, not a lot of sleep to show for myself over the past few days.
i'm in my hostel in fukuoka, japan. typing a blog until i get this elusive confirmation email with some code in it that i will then write down and take to the korean consulate to get my visa. if i was only here for two days, this waiting around for said email would be annoying, but as it is, i'm here until monday, and i still have 2 completely full days ahead of me to be a tourist. and i guess a lot of time to blog too. plus, it's raining. so apparently that's s'posed to affect productivity too. but i think sitting here moving my fingers over a keyboard is the very definition of productive--each second yielding some new object/letter. i'm tired.
a recap of recent achievements is in order. maybe when i finish writing this the email will be waiting for me in my inbox. virtual fingers crossed.
first, it's pretty great that i've been at my new job all of a week and a half, grading those charmingly botched essays, and then they send me to japan for 4 days. i can't really complain about that. they even gave me money for a hotel. i still opted for the cheap hostel, simply because less money spent on lodgings means more money for things that make me intoxicated and accompanying fried food items (i'm thinking tempura. haven't actually eaten any yet, but i'm planning on it. today's the day!!!( hmm, the closing parenthesis doesn't want to work. please note my effort. also, there's always a part of me that likes to think i have that backpacker spirit/ethos/whatever you want to call it. i have a backpack. but then when i got here i switched my room from one of the communal, hey-4-people-who don't-know-each-other-are-going-to-swap-travel-stories-and-one-of-them-is-going-to-snore-and-one-of-them-is-going-to-be-really-fucking-annoying varieties to the more comfortable and anti-social 2 beds, 1 person room. that's how i roll. i already deal with all korea's collectivism on a daily basis. no thanks.
shit, i just remembered that a dude stole my umbrella last night. i say this as i look at rain streaming in through the open window of the common area. it's gonna be a wet one. or i guess it already is a wet one. fudge.
my day yesterday was very long. i was mostly coherant for damn near 24 hours. i woke up at 4:30 in ilsan because i had to catch the bus to the incheon airport at 5:50. this was supposedly the time for the first bus, but i got there early and conveniently, the bus did too. i like it when things immediately go right that early in the morning. a good travel omen, perhaps.
caught my flight at 8 to fukuoka. waited in the longest customs/immigration line known to man and checked my email at the airport. no confirmation number. then i found my hostel, but i couldn't check in for another 4 or so hours so i went temple hopping. there was one subway stop that is literally surrounded by all these different temples. and i've said this so much about asia, but it's remarkable how visible the fusion of the past and present is. high rise buildings closing in on centuries-old buddhist temples. a fact that still amazes me with certain regularity. temple culture (if you can call it such a thing( in japan, fukuoka at least, is a lot different than in korea. all the temples i went to had virtually no people at them. so that was great for me, taking lots of pictures and indulging my inner tourist.
the best temple i stumbled across was also a cemetery. it was absolutely, awesomely beautiful. the entrance to the actual temple was closed, covered by scaffolding, so my intent was just to take a few pictures and leave. but i walked through a totally generic archway and was immediately overwhelmed by a sea of huge, acient looking stones with people's names inscribed in them, an altar for flowers and two accompanying urns. the way the stones had aged, the combined elements of weather and time and dirt and leaves! it was a truly organic atmosphere, the rich peaty smell surrounding. fukuoka also has large, knobby trees, covered in that furry layer of damp moss. i took a lot of pictures. they will be posted to the flickr page at some point.
after the temple excursion, did some window shopping near my hostel. they have vending machines for cigarettes. interesting.
came back to my room and tried to take a nap (remember, up since 4:30 am(, but apparently some people are building something right outside my room's window. the soothing sounds of chainsaws, jackhammers and heavy things being dropped/nailed/hammered/ or otherwise violated. no nap. sad jamie.
decided to go look for the atm machine that was rumored to accept korean debit cards. so after asking 5 different people at 5 different hotels, i finally found it. it's interesting, i think in korea there are more random people with the potential to help you because they speak a little bit of english. i've had a hell of a time here communicating anything. so many people speak absolutely no english, and a lot of the signs don't even have english on them (note: this is mere observation, not judgement. i know. it's japan, why should they speak english or have english signage...(. even my trusty hand gestures aren't cutting it. i guess i underestimate how much the smallest bit of korean that i know helps me in everyday mundane situations. here, i just keep thinking domo arigato mr. roboto. that song's on a loop in my brain. how unfortunate. is that rush or styx? i hope the people who should find that funny....
post atm triumph, headed to the lively part of the city to look for a particular reggae bar. i found it, after some roundabout navigating. the curry was fantastic. and there was no accompanying plate of kimchi, no red pepper taste or smell. a small bar, not too many people. good times. 2 guinness beers consumed. note that i added 'beers'. that's because i don't know how to pluralize guinness. while i was there i chatted it up with a frenchie who's been travelling/teaching esl for the past 26 years. went with him to another bar, met some new people from australia and england. frenchie left, so i integrated with his peeps. me and 2 of the more adventurous of the bunch decided to go bar-hopping. very fun. a tower of heineken. picked up 3 other random people as well, one of whom was an amazing dancer. he took us to a dance club. no one else was dancing, but he didn't seem to mind. shit, what's that movie with the b2k dudes in it? he could dance like one of them. what is that guy's fucking name? omarion. he could dance like omarion. i think it's funny that at this particular computer in japan, the next time anyone googles any b word, b2k is going to pop up.
the real adventure of the day was getting back to the hostel. i had come and gone to/from the hostel several times during the day, when it was light out, when the subway was open. i thought that surely the address written in japanese on the business card would be enough for the cab driver. but it wasn't. he started rubbing on my leg, so i stopped the taxi not knowing where i was. soaking wet in the downpour. i bought an umbrella (yes, the one that was promptly swiped by a convenient mart employee...( and began soliciting help from random convenient store people. taxi driver had no idea where the hostel was, and neither did most of the convenient mart people. i think i was on convenient mart number 4 when i finally lost it and started crying uncontrollably, much to the terror of the young japanese workers around me. it was now almost 4 in the am and i hadn't slept in nearly 24 hours. so that, factored in with being intoxicated, lost, not knowing a goddamn word of japanese, creepster feeling me up in the cab made for a pretty pathetic situation. i finally made it home though, after much map consultation and the kindness of these two gentlemen.
oh yeah, why am i so tired right now. i got back to the hostel right around 4 after being up for nearly 24 hours, and then was woken up by the current construction project at 8 am. yes, even in the rain they hammer away. so all told, not a lot of sleep to show for myself over the past few days.
Friday, July 13, 2007
stuff n stuff
well, back into the proverbial swing of things after my impromptu 6 day vacation in fukuoka, japan on my extended visa run. so i suppose that allows time for me to finish the long-winded two part recap.
but before i begin, i think it's worth noting that my fan has a timer on it. so's i don't die of the fan death. after two hours it automatically shuts off. thank god, i'm not dead yet. if you don't know about fan death, it's a korean urban legend. wikipedia that shit.
so where did i leave off? i think i only covered the first day. yeah, i'm lame. but i was on vacation, so let's all pretend that i was consumed by uber-important site-seeing and cultural enrichment and those are the things that prevented a more timely record of all things fukuoka. day two began early again, on account of the construction immediately adjacent to the hostel. whatever, i'm cool with forced motivation. it's difficult to just lie there in bed waiting for the next hammer in the sequence of ever-increasing hammering. that's one of those small ways i like to torture myself. when the faucet's dripping and i'm trying to sleep, i could just try to tune it out, but it's so much more uncomfortable to count the seconds between drips and then immerse myself in this repetitive 2 second counting cycle. same with the hammering. i would lay there and wait for it, all the while scrambling for random tissues to stuff in my ears. and even with the tissue, i still listened through it because i knew the sound was imminent. funny how routines and patterns ultimately govern our lives, no matter how arguably minute they are.
anyway, moving on...i believe it was on the second day that i began my routine of going to starbucks early in the day to sort of jumpstart myself. reminded me of waking up every morning in europe, totally hungover and requiring espresso and red bull. could be why i'm still in credit card debt. that shit's expensive...
anyhoo, i'm reading saul bellow short stories. i'll try to make any forthcoming cheesy acts of quotation less cheesy by thoroughly disclaiming beforehand that yes, i am cheesy. there are things people say and write that move me, seemingly stoney exterior be damned...
"it might be said that all of these beautiful stories throw out at us, in burning centrifuge, the secular-religious questions: what are our days of awe? and how shall we know them?"
of course such flattery not written by mr. bellow himself, but it's always a plus when you find such nuggets as early as the introduction.
so there i was in japan, and it was nice to have such an obvious distancing, despite the geographical proximity, from the annoyances that are everyday life in korea. you could smell the difference when you stepped off the plane. it was extremely difficult to come back here on tuesday night. it's hard to explain--a lack of obvious judgement, feeling human amidst all these other humans. individuality, some semblance of counter culture. it was just good, healthy and comfortable. how to adequately describe...
events of the days. second day was just as good as the first. it was rainy pretty much the whole time (except the last day, but i was so out of sorts from my hangover that i was sort of oblivious to meteorological factors). but the rain didn't affect my mood or motivation. so friday it rained, but i think i actually preferred it to the alternative of sunshine and heat. so i went to the art museum, some japanese gardens and the ruins of a castle. the art museum was great. i think art museums are probably designed for rainy days and single people. perhaps some people are destined to be creators and others to be appreciators. i guess one couldn't exist without the other. so i am probably the latter. i create things i guess, but those things fall under the extremely stretched umbrella of an already stretched definition of creativity.
anyway, i really enjoy art, or at least i enjoy wandering around an art museum in japan. i bought some interesting paraphernalia by a japanese artist named ohtake shinro. good eats.
after that i went to a japanese garden and once again, let it be noted that i was the only person there. just me and the koi fish. that would never happen in korea, there would inevitably be old women with penciled in lips and walking sticks (no matter how flat the landscape), along with cute girls in mini skirts and stilettos. so i took lots of pictures, got rained on, and it was amazing. things in fukuoka were so green. i thought i had seen green things before, but these trees and plants put my former concept of green to shame. i took way too many pictures of foliage. after the garden, made my way to some castle ruins. they weren't kidding when they called them "ruins." really more just dilapidated walls and wet gardens. huge black crows squawking at me, again, the only other obvious moving life form in their domain. but the cemetery, the castle and the sushi restaurant (not yet talked about) were the highlights of the trip. with the castle and the cemetery there was just something so primordial about the setting. i felt like i had accidentally been granted this great gift of isolation, so it was up to me to spend it in as remote and elemental a place as possible. i was quite happy to not share the events of that morning/early afternoon with any other human beings.
so after wandering around for a while, content in my increasingly soggy clothing, i made my way back to the hostel to take a nap. i met anna, the girl in all the pictures, while checking my email. so we made plans to eat and drink a little later. those are things that are actually very nice, should company present itself. napped, met up with her to go eat a pizza and nachos at some place in the tenjin area of the city.
post pizza, decided more food and brews were in order. found ourselves at a tiny irish pub in japan, the craic and porter. bob marley (sooo irish) on the tv, rogue ale on tap, and fuller's bottles available. holy shit. the bartender was even wearing a samuel smith oatmeal stout t-shirt. that's amazing. drank some beers, ate some lasagna, inquired about where to get really drunk really quickly. the bartender was drunk and molesting anna, telling her her name meant strange things in japanese. still not sure whether that's true or not...
ultimately ended up at a bar called the happy cock. yup, happy cock. not normally the sort of place i'd go, but then again, neither is japan. and for $20 all you can drink, why the fuck not. i probably drank 20 cocktails during the course of the night, including a shit ton of vodka tonics. when we first got there though, it kind of sucked. but we'd committed our cash, so we were in it for the long haul/ met some dude named dan, also living in korea. aligned ourselves with him for the night. eventually we started dancing (ah, the beauty of alcohol...).then it actually became really fun. i'm always a fan of molesting strangers. met some italian guys, one of whom was pretty fucking hot. he was a bigger dude, but he could actually dance really well. so that element of surprise, coupled with the whole italian accent thing, bode well for him. anna and i pretty much danced with them the whole time.
oh yeah, there was a scantily clad russian looking girl too. her thong was pulled up inexplicably high and she danced awkwardly. i guess that's what passes for hot these days. next thing we know, it's 5 in the morning and we need to get back to the hostel. only thing on the agenda for saturday was to find a currency conversion place for anna.
slept in on saturday, but finally decided to leave the hostel. went to the currency exchange, tried to see transformers, but it's not out in japan. resorted to wandering around, kind of hungover. found ourselves back in the same area we'd been in the night before, so why not start the debauchery again. found a head shop, bought some jewelry, then went to this amazing little seafood restaurant/sochu bar. we decided just to try some sochu (tastes like watered down tequila). so that was sort of a waste of money, but the decor in there was so arty and reminiscent of the venice cafe in st. louis. i always really liked that place, despite how difficult it was to find every time i tried...
after that went back to a bar i'd gone to on my first night called off broadway. the owner, louis, looked like gregory hines and was so amazingly hospitable to us. drank/ate there for a while, met some germans that louis knew. then we all migrated to a place called "jackie's bar" where there was an impromptu band featuring a russian dude (replete with handlebar mustache) and some really spry older korean man. it was great fun. the cool part about that bar was that we ran into the italian dudes on the street on the way there. we were all excited to see each other again.
after jackie's we went to a new bar called "infiinty." another one of those places that i would probably never go to, but fuck it, i was in japan, so why not. reminded me a lot of pure lounge in como, back in the days of glow sticks and smoke machines, despite the fact that neither of those things were present here. there was a velvet rope/vip area that louis, because he's also a bar owner, had access to. so we sat there for a while. he bought us beers and shared his cigar with us. but the italians were also there, beckoning us to come dance with them. so we obliged. again, good times. much better dancers at this place. some breakdancer/b boy types. another long night.
next day, anna left at noon and i had some fucking killer cramps that made me sort of curl up in a ball and sweat for a good portion of the afternoon. good gad. but i did eventually venture out. went to some famous row of shops that was actually underwhelming. felt sort of crazy and sweaty for a good 4 hours. i had a vision of myself looking like rick moranis in ghostbusters when he's wandering around dazed and confused.
anyhoo, wandered back to the tenjin area, in said haze, ate some curry and ran into an awkward, uber self conscious canadian guy who liked to get a little too close to me and awkwardly put his arm around my waist. and what made it so awkward was that despite his self-consciousness, he still mustered up the balls to quite physically weird me out. i guess that's a skill. i played that for a free beer at one of the street stalls, then [also awkwardly] left the situation. always shocking to me when i run into people who are actually more socially inept than i feel most of the time. granted, i play it off alright, but the feeling's still there. and this guy couldn't play it off at all. he was just weird.
went back to the hostel and crashed. next day was my embassy day to place my korean work visa order. don't ask me why you have to do this in japan. i have no idea. made my way to the consulate (this was on monday; i was sposed to get that elusive code number on thursday). i also happened to stumble upon a.....MOTHER FUCKING GAP JAPAN!!!!!!!! i don't know that anyone can fully understand the significance of this. but i'm a big girl living in a little country (in every sense of the word). shit doesn't fit me here. but in gap japan, there was so much stuff and everything was on sale. honestly, the highlight of my day, maybe even my trip. made me feel a little more human. humans wear clothing, this store has clothes that fit me, therefore making me a human.
after gap, had another bout of cramps. some self-prescribed bedrest, then i went out to eat sushi. i went back to the cool restaurant i went to with anna before. told the waitress i didn't care what i ate, so she gave me a beautiful variety tray. it had octopus that was fucking amazing. it was so good, so tender, and yes, raw. japanese octopus: 1. korean octopus: 0. i drank a lot of beer while i ate, so i was already slightly drunk when i left. and i guess sushi doesn't make the best foundation for a hard night of drinking, not that i was even planning on that. but i went back to the irish bar because i wanted more rogue beer.
of course i expected there to be other humans there, but no dice. so i was in for some drinking and inappropriate conversation with the guy who had molested anna before who was older than my father and married, neither of which he at any point tried to downplay. creepy. i tried to leave, and then i noticed my rogue beer was refilled or there was a glass of whiskey in front of me. eventually i did escape to off broadway and the safety of louis and company. but it only stayed safe for so long.
louis and his entourage showed up a little after i got there (after already having food and drink purchased for me by a cute little japanese woman. okay, i like free. it was turning out to be a very cheap last night in japan...). at this point we started drinking champagne, then pervy older than my dad guy showed up. there were also some spanish dudes there. they didn't speak a lick of english. and of course i only remember how to say the most rudimentary phrases involving midgets and wooden legs.
when creepy older guy put his hand on my thigh, i escaped to the bathroom, where i encountered one of the spanish guys as i came out of the stall. he looked at me and said "bonita" so i responded with "guapo." and then, with the reflexes of a cat, or just an overly-sexed spanish guy in japan, he took that as his cue to shove his tongue down my throat. people casually throw that expression around, probably never having actually had a tongue shoved down their throat. but there was quite a bit of violence to this kiss. i feel bad even calling it a kiss--even a bad kiss--because there was nothing delicate or pleasant or sensual about it at all. this kiss stripped the very word kiss of any of its niceness for me for a while.
i felt doubly violated because he hadn't taken his time to wash his hands after using the urinal. GEEEROOOSSSS. i fled the scene at that point. the champagne and whatever was on that dude's tongue were combining to make me not feel so well.
ultimately, the moral that was reinforced this night, in shocking and saddening clarity, was that it's never the people that you want to hit on you who hit on you. and it's never the people whose tongues you want shoved down your throat who actually deign to shove their tongues down your throat (i'm talking to you, hot italian guy! where was your tongue?). i'm not morbidly obese. i'm not an idiot. i'm a reasonably attractive young lady. and yet, this is what i've been reduced to. narsty people in foreign bars who have no tact button. both my sisters are married to dudes who aren't douchebags. and i honestly wonder how that's even possible after the number of unfortunate episodes i've had with dudes in the past year.
my last day i went back to the embassy to retrieve the visa. went to fukuoka tower to check off some sort of touristy activity for the day. wanted to go to the zoo, but decided that having to transfer on the subway was waaaayyy too difficult for my aching body/brain to handle in the wake of the beer/whiskey/champagne/sushi/tongue night. so i went to starbucks again. met another guy there who actually didn't suck and was spewing all sorts of facts about saul bellow, faulkner, etc. you never really expect to have that sort of conversation with a guy from barbados who you meet in a starbucks in fukuoka, japan.
so that was my trip. it was great. and because the nice man from barbados talked about saul bellow, here's some more:
"when dr. braun closed his eyes, he saw, red on black, something like molecular processes--the only true heraldry of being. as later, in the close black darkness when the short day ended, he went to the dark kitchen window to have a look at stars. these things cast outward by a great begetting spasm billions of years ago."
sigh. sleepy.
but before i begin, i think it's worth noting that my fan has a timer on it. so's i don't die of the fan death. after two hours it automatically shuts off. thank god, i'm not dead yet. if you don't know about fan death, it's a korean urban legend. wikipedia that shit.
so where did i leave off? i think i only covered the first day. yeah, i'm lame. but i was on vacation, so let's all pretend that i was consumed by uber-important site-seeing and cultural enrichment and those are the things that prevented a more timely record of all things fukuoka. day two began early again, on account of the construction immediately adjacent to the hostel. whatever, i'm cool with forced motivation. it's difficult to just lie there in bed waiting for the next hammer in the sequence of ever-increasing hammering. that's one of those small ways i like to torture myself. when the faucet's dripping and i'm trying to sleep, i could just try to tune it out, but it's so much more uncomfortable to count the seconds between drips and then immerse myself in this repetitive 2 second counting cycle. same with the hammering. i would lay there and wait for it, all the while scrambling for random tissues to stuff in my ears. and even with the tissue, i still listened through it because i knew the sound was imminent. funny how routines and patterns ultimately govern our lives, no matter how arguably minute they are.
anyway, moving on...i believe it was on the second day that i began my routine of going to starbucks early in the day to sort of jumpstart myself. reminded me of waking up every morning in europe, totally hungover and requiring espresso and red bull. could be why i'm still in credit card debt. that shit's expensive...
anyhoo, i'm reading saul bellow short stories. i'll try to make any forthcoming cheesy acts of quotation less cheesy by thoroughly disclaiming beforehand that yes, i am cheesy. there are things people say and write that move me, seemingly stoney exterior be damned...
"it might be said that all of these beautiful stories throw out at us, in burning centrifuge, the secular-religious questions: what are our days of awe? and how shall we know them?"
of course such flattery not written by mr. bellow himself, but it's always a plus when you find such nuggets as early as the introduction.
so there i was in japan, and it was nice to have such an obvious distancing, despite the geographical proximity, from the annoyances that are everyday life in korea. you could smell the difference when you stepped off the plane. it was extremely difficult to come back here on tuesday night. it's hard to explain--a lack of obvious judgement, feeling human amidst all these other humans. individuality, some semblance of counter culture. it was just good, healthy and comfortable. how to adequately describe...
events of the days. second day was just as good as the first. it was rainy pretty much the whole time (except the last day, but i was so out of sorts from my hangover that i was sort of oblivious to meteorological factors). but the rain didn't affect my mood or motivation. so friday it rained, but i think i actually preferred it to the alternative of sunshine and heat. so i went to the art museum, some japanese gardens and the ruins of a castle. the art museum was great. i think art museums are probably designed for rainy days and single people. perhaps some people are destined to be creators and others to be appreciators. i guess one couldn't exist without the other. so i am probably the latter. i create things i guess, but those things fall under the extremely stretched umbrella of an already stretched definition of creativity.
anyway, i really enjoy art, or at least i enjoy wandering around an art museum in japan. i bought some interesting paraphernalia by a japanese artist named ohtake shinro. good eats.
after that i went to a japanese garden and once again, let it be noted that i was the only person there. just me and the koi fish. that would never happen in korea, there would inevitably be old women with penciled in lips and walking sticks (no matter how flat the landscape), along with cute girls in mini skirts and stilettos. so i took lots of pictures, got rained on, and it was amazing. things in fukuoka were so green. i thought i had seen green things before, but these trees and plants put my former concept of green to shame. i took way too many pictures of foliage. after the garden, made my way to some castle ruins. they weren't kidding when they called them "ruins." really more just dilapidated walls and wet gardens. huge black crows squawking at me, again, the only other obvious moving life form in their domain. but the cemetery, the castle and the sushi restaurant (not yet talked about) were the highlights of the trip. with the castle and the cemetery there was just something so primordial about the setting. i felt like i had accidentally been granted this great gift of isolation, so it was up to me to spend it in as remote and elemental a place as possible. i was quite happy to not share the events of that morning/early afternoon with any other human beings.
so after wandering around for a while, content in my increasingly soggy clothing, i made my way back to the hostel to take a nap. i met anna, the girl in all the pictures, while checking my email. so we made plans to eat and drink a little later. those are things that are actually very nice, should company present itself. napped, met up with her to go eat a pizza and nachos at some place in the tenjin area of the city.
post pizza, decided more food and brews were in order. found ourselves at a tiny irish pub in japan, the craic and porter. bob marley (sooo irish) on the tv, rogue ale on tap, and fuller's bottles available. holy shit. the bartender was even wearing a samuel smith oatmeal stout t-shirt. that's amazing. drank some beers, ate some lasagna, inquired about where to get really drunk really quickly. the bartender was drunk and molesting anna, telling her her name meant strange things in japanese. still not sure whether that's true or not...
ultimately ended up at a bar called the happy cock. yup, happy cock. not normally the sort of place i'd go, but then again, neither is japan. and for $20 all you can drink, why the fuck not. i probably drank 20 cocktails during the course of the night, including a shit ton of vodka tonics. when we first got there though, it kind of sucked. but we'd committed our cash, so we were in it for the long haul/ met some dude named dan, also living in korea. aligned ourselves with him for the night. eventually we started dancing (ah, the beauty of alcohol...).then it actually became really fun. i'm always a fan of molesting strangers. met some italian guys, one of whom was pretty fucking hot. he was a bigger dude, but he could actually dance really well. so that element of surprise, coupled with the whole italian accent thing, bode well for him. anna and i pretty much danced with them the whole time.
oh yeah, there was a scantily clad russian looking girl too. her thong was pulled up inexplicably high and she danced awkwardly. i guess that's what passes for hot these days. next thing we know, it's 5 in the morning and we need to get back to the hostel. only thing on the agenda for saturday was to find a currency conversion place for anna.
slept in on saturday, but finally decided to leave the hostel. went to the currency exchange, tried to see transformers, but it's not out in japan. resorted to wandering around, kind of hungover. found ourselves back in the same area we'd been in the night before, so why not start the debauchery again. found a head shop, bought some jewelry, then went to this amazing little seafood restaurant/sochu bar. we decided just to try some sochu (tastes like watered down tequila). so that was sort of a waste of money, but the decor in there was so arty and reminiscent of the venice cafe in st. louis. i always really liked that place, despite how difficult it was to find every time i tried...
after that went back to a bar i'd gone to on my first night called off broadway. the owner, louis, looked like gregory hines and was so amazingly hospitable to us. drank/ate there for a while, met some germans that louis knew. then we all migrated to a place called "jackie's bar" where there was an impromptu band featuring a russian dude (replete with handlebar mustache) and some really spry older korean man. it was great fun. the cool part about that bar was that we ran into the italian dudes on the street on the way there. we were all excited to see each other again.
after jackie's we went to a new bar called "infiinty." another one of those places that i would probably never go to, but fuck it, i was in japan, so why not. reminded me a lot of pure lounge in como, back in the days of glow sticks and smoke machines, despite the fact that neither of those things were present here. there was a velvet rope/vip area that louis, because he's also a bar owner, had access to. so we sat there for a while. he bought us beers and shared his cigar with us. but the italians were also there, beckoning us to come dance with them. so we obliged. again, good times. much better dancers at this place. some breakdancer/b boy types. another long night.
next day, anna left at noon and i had some fucking killer cramps that made me sort of curl up in a ball and sweat for a good portion of the afternoon. good gad. but i did eventually venture out. went to some famous row of shops that was actually underwhelming. felt sort of crazy and sweaty for a good 4 hours. i had a vision of myself looking like rick moranis in ghostbusters when he's wandering around dazed and confused.
anyhoo, wandered back to the tenjin area, in said haze, ate some curry and ran into an awkward, uber self conscious canadian guy who liked to get a little too close to me and awkwardly put his arm around my waist. and what made it so awkward was that despite his self-consciousness, he still mustered up the balls to quite physically weird me out. i guess that's a skill. i played that for a free beer at one of the street stalls, then [also awkwardly] left the situation. always shocking to me when i run into people who are actually more socially inept than i feel most of the time. granted, i play it off alright, but the feeling's still there. and this guy couldn't play it off at all. he was just weird.
went back to the hostel and crashed. next day was my embassy day to place my korean work visa order. don't ask me why you have to do this in japan. i have no idea. made my way to the consulate (this was on monday; i was sposed to get that elusive code number on thursday). i also happened to stumble upon a.....MOTHER FUCKING GAP JAPAN!!!!!!!! i don't know that anyone can fully understand the significance of this. but i'm a big girl living in a little country (in every sense of the word). shit doesn't fit me here. but in gap japan, there was so much stuff and everything was on sale. honestly, the highlight of my day, maybe even my trip. made me feel a little more human. humans wear clothing, this store has clothes that fit me, therefore making me a human.
after gap, had another bout of cramps. some self-prescribed bedrest, then i went out to eat sushi. i went back to the cool restaurant i went to with anna before. told the waitress i didn't care what i ate, so she gave me a beautiful variety tray. it had octopus that was fucking amazing. it was so good, so tender, and yes, raw. japanese octopus: 1. korean octopus: 0. i drank a lot of beer while i ate, so i was already slightly drunk when i left. and i guess sushi doesn't make the best foundation for a hard night of drinking, not that i was even planning on that. but i went back to the irish bar because i wanted more rogue beer.
of course i expected there to be other humans there, but no dice. so i was in for some drinking and inappropriate conversation with the guy who had molested anna before who was older than my father and married, neither of which he at any point tried to downplay. creepy. i tried to leave, and then i noticed my rogue beer was refilled or there was a glass of whiskey in front of me. eventually i did escape to off broadway and the safety of louis and company. but it only stayed safe for so long.
louis and his entourage showed up a little after i got there (after already having food and drink purchased for me by a cute little japanese woman. okay, i like free. it was turning out to be a very cheap last night in japan...). at this point we started drinking champagne, then pervy older than my dad guy showed up. there were also some spanish dudes there. they didn't speak a lick of english. and of course i only remember how to say the most rudimentary phrases involving midgets and wooden legs.
when creepy older guy put his hand on my thigh, i escaped to the bathroom, where i encountered one of the spanish guys as i came out of the stall. he looked at me and said "bonita" so i responded with "guapo." and then, with the reflexes of a cat, or just an overly-sexed spanish guy in japan, he took that as his cue to shove his tongue down my throat. people casually throw that expression around, probably never having actually had a tongue shoved down their throat. but there was quite a bit of violence to this kiss. i feel bad even calling it a kiss--even a bad kiss--because there was nothing delicate or pleasant or sensual about it at all. this kiss stripped the very word kiss of any of its niceness for me for a while.
i felt doubly violated because he hadn't taken his time to wash his hands after using the urinal. GEEEROOOSSSS. i fled the scene at that point. the champagne and whatever was on that dude's tongue were combining to make me not feel so well.
ultimately, the moral that was reinforced this night, in shocking and saddening clarity, was that it's never the people that you want to hit on you who hit on you. and it's never the people whose tongues you want shoved down your throat who actually deign to shove their tongues down your throat (i'm talking to you, hot italian guy! where was your tongue?). i'm not morbidly obese. i'm not an idiot. i'm a reasonably attractive young lady. and yet, this is what i've been reduced to. narsty people in foreign bars who have no tact button. both my sisters are married to dudes who aren't douchebags. and i honestly wonder how that's even possible after the number of unfortunate episodes i've had with dudes in the past year.
my last day i went back to the embassy to retrieve the visa. went to fukuoka tower to check off some sort of touristy activity for the day. wanted to go to the zoo, but decided that having to transfer on the subway was waaaayyy too difficult for my aching body/brain to handle in the wake of the beer/whiskey/champagne/sushi/tongue night. so i went to starbucks again. met another guy there who actually didn't suck and was spewing all sorts of facts about saul bellow, faulkner, etc. you never really expect to have that sort of conversation with a guy from barbados who you meet in a starbucks in fukuoka, japan.
so that was my trip. it was great. and because the nice man from barbados talked about saul bellow, here's some more:
"when dr. braun closed his eyes, he saw, red on black, something like molecular processes--the only true heraldry of being. as later, in the close black darkness when the short day ended, he went to the dark kitchen window to have a look at stars. these things cast outward by a great begetting spasm billions of years ago."
sigh. sleepy.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
I'm a talented person!
I'm a talented person. Why? Because I can play yo-yo, and painting caractor. Many people paiting caractor and play yo-yo, but I am great. Another person. Why yo-yo and painting is talented? Now we can start my talented yo-yo and painting caractor.
I like my picture, because my picture, is great (?) I like painting a picture. My picture history is very intresting. In eight years, I was like piture, and I had one titleless notebook. Now I see titlelss notebook, I'm laugh on the floor.
I started yo-yo at seven years. In seven years, pride a great, I played the yo-yo. In now, I play ingenuity of yo-yo. I breaked many yo-yo. I think six or seven yo-yoes. One day, Steve told he can yo-yo, but I saw, it is not yo-yo ingenuity.
My talented is two. One is yo-yo and one is painting picture. My dream is cartoonist, and great yo-yo woman (?). Why I has talented? Because I pratice and pratice. Do you want has talented? They you started pratice. It is your talented's manure.
i've been grading a lot of essays over the past couple of days. honestly, i'm impressed with the form that some of these kids utilize. in these parts their fans of the 4 paragraph (or 4 sentence for the little kids) essay. even if the engrish is botched, they're getting the grasp of essay structure.
i just finished my first week of work in ilsan/seoul. i have worked sunday through saturday, with my own branch of the hagwon's grand opening tomorrow (i have to give a speech and wear a dress. honestly don't know which is worse...). despite the fact that i 've had to commute 3 hours/day into/out of seoul from ilsan to train, i am loving everything about my new arrangement.
a week ago i arrived in seoul. i first went to sign the contract and figure out other logistical nonsense, then i went to my hagwon and just scoped it out. on sunday, there was an open house/meet the parents extravaganza at another branch of the hagwon in suwon, so i went to that just to be another foreign face in the crowd. before i went though, i had the opportunity to go to my boss' house. that's saying something right there, the fact that he has an actual house (and a yard!!!!!!!!!) in korea. dudeman is loaded. i gathered from a reliable source that his house cost approximately 10 million dollars. good gad. that's a sign that he's successful and there's money to be made if i align myself with him. and align myself i have. oh yeah, he had a dude drive me and some other peeps in his bmw. that was pretty sweet. i felt very important stepping out of that car....
a lot of people who asked me questions about the new gig were met most commonly with the answer "i don't know" or the slightly varied "i have no idea." here are some facts: my hagwon is brand new. there are other branches, but the ilsan branch is brand new. they're still in the process of recruiting students, so i've been commuting every day to observe other teachers at other branches and to grade/assess copious amounts of essays on varying socially important topics (the most creative essays in response to the prompt "do you think your school menu should change?" seriously, it's so interesting to read the [broken] english logic of little korean kids. endearing to the max). anyhoo...my first day of training was monday. i was going to just observe other teachers, but one of the teachers was in a horrible motorcyle accident, so his girlfriend was staying at the hospital with him. so i got to teach all 5 of the girlfriend's classes. some people might find the idea of that terrifying, but it was actually pretty chill. of course there was a time when the thought of teaching 5 classes at a school that i knew nothing about would have made me shit my pants, but i had already gathered just how systematic an organization this was, so it was cake. rice cake.
also, i had been expecting a one-room/studio apartment. so a porter and myself lugged all my shit up to the 13th floor of a generic korean high rise apartment building on saturday. i opened the door and almost cried. there was the smell of fresh paint and just so much natural light flooding this remarkably spacious area that i have the pleasure of calling my abode for at least the next year (unless i decide to ditch out early on this gig too. that's a joke). i have a kitchen and a really cute bathroom and a living room and a bedroom. plus, my little deck/veranda area is bigger than the one at sidae. it's actually a lot like sidae, but there's more light and it just feels fresh and clean. my judgement could be skewed by the glaring newness of it all. but right now, it's a perfect space for me.
oh yeah, back to the job being very systematic....so all the branches provide all the kids with books. there's a huge room that you walk into full of the books designated for each grade level. they actually do level tests that are standardized. there are consequences if students don't do their homework. there are parent/teacher conferences and there are grade cards distributed. plus, a vertitable fuckton of students are associated with this hagwon. i believe i heard around 11,000 students just in the seoul area. despite the numbers, dyb is a finely-tuned machine. there are a shitton of korean teachers also. all the levels do the same thing, no matter the teacher--same books, same level test. it's amazing. each day is a different focus--listening, speaking, etc. there are also a lot of teachers at this main branch, so it's nice to actually get to build some comaraderie whilst hanging out in a bonafide teachers' lounge.
so i haven't had too much free time in ilsan, because of the commute, but right now my life is good. i genuinely enjoy subway culture too. despite some of the questionable smells and the glaringly obvious lack of convenient trash cans (seriously, why should i have to carry an empty coffee cup for an hour). sitting on the subway, counting down the stops to my ultimate destination makes me feel important. i'm not busy really, all i can do is wait, but it makes me feel busy. it's urgent that i get somewhere. it's nice to have that time to be responsible for absolutely nothing besides listening to music.
in short, everything is adding up (so far, fingers crossed) to me feeling important and valued. i haven't had to struggle for anything either--no pointless weekly state of the union addresses featuring the same mounting, unresolved issues of the past year (hint hint: city hall in suncheon). you can only beat a dead horse for so long. after 9 months it doesn't even look like a horse anymore. i'm just guessing, as i've never actually beaten a dead horse.
I like my picture, because my picture, is great (?) I like painting a picture. My picture history is very intresting. In eight years, I was like piture, and I had one titleless notebook. Now I see titlelss notebook, I'm laugh on the floor.
I started yo-yo at seven years. In seven years, pride a great, I played the yo-yo. In now, I play ingenuity of yo-yo. I breaked many yo-yo. I think six or seven yo-yoes. One day, Steve told he can yo-yo, but I saw, it is not yo-yo ingenuity.
My talented is two. One is yo-yo and one is painting picture. My dream is cartoonist, and great yo-yo woman (?). Why I has talented? Because I pratice and pratice. Do you want has talented? They you started pratice. It is your talented's manure.
i've been grading a lot of essays over the past couple of days. honestly, i'm impressed with the form that some of these kids utilize. in these parts their fans of the 4 paragraph (or 4 sentence for the little kids) essay. even if the engrish is botched, they're getting the grasp of essay structure.
i just finished my first week of work in ilsan/seoul. i have worked sunday through saturday, with my own branch of the hagwon's grand opening tomorrow (i have to give a speech and wear a dress. honestly don't know which is worse...). despite the fact that i 've had to commute 3 hours/day into/out of seoul from ilsan to train, i am loving everything about my new arrangement.
a week ago i arrived in seoul. i first went to sign the contract and figure out other logistical nonsense, then i went to my hagwon and just scoped it out. on sunday, there was an open house/meet the parents extravaganza at another branch of the hagwon in suwon, so i went to that just to be another foreign face in the crowd. before i went though, i had the opportunity to go to my boss' house. that's saying something right there, the fact that he has an actual house (and a yard!!!!!!!!!) in korea. dudeman is loaded. i gathered from a reliable source that his house cost approximately 10 million dollars. good gad. that's a sign that he's successful and there's money to be made if i align myself with him. and align myself i have. oh yeah, he had a dude drive me and some other peeps in his bmw. that was pretty sweet. i felt very important stepping out of that car....
a lot of people who asked me questions about the new gig were met most commonly with the answer "i don't know" or the slightly varied "i have no idea." here are some facts: my hagwon is brand new. there are other branches, but the ilsan branch is brand new. they're still in the process of recruiting students, so i've been commuting every day to observe other teachers at other branches and to grade/assess copious amounts of essays on varying socially important topics (the most creative essays in response to the prompt "do you think your school menu should change?" seriously, it's so interesting to read the [broken] english logic of little korean kids. endearing to the max). anyhoo...my first day of training was monday. i was going to just observe other teachers, but one of the teachers was in a horrible motorcyle accident, so his girlfriend was staying at the hospital with him. so i got to teach all 5 of the girlfriend's classes. some people might find the idea of that terrifying, but it was actually pretty chill. of course there was a time when the thought of teaching 5 classes at a school that i knew nothing about would have made me shit my pants, but i had already gathered just how systematic an organization this was, so it was cake. rice cake.
also, i had been expecting a one-room/studio apartment. so a porter and myself lugged all my shit up to the 13th floor of a generic korean high rise apartment building on saturday. i opened the door and almost cried. there was the smell of fresh paint and just so much natural light flooding this remarkably spacious area that i have the pleasure of calling my abode for at least the next year (unless i decide to ditch out early on this gig too. that's a joke). i have a kitchen and a really cute bathroom and a living room and a bedroom. plus, my little deck/veranda area is bigger than the one at sidae. it's actually a lot like sidae, but there's more light and it just feels fresh and clean. my judgement could be skewed by the glaring newness of it all. but right now, it's a perfect space for me.
oh yeah, back to the job being very systematic....so all the branches provide all the kids with books. there's a huge room that you walk into full of the books designated for each grade level. they actually do level tests that are standardized. there are consequences if students don't do their homework. there are parent/teacher conferences and there are grade cards distributed. plus, a vertitable fuckton of students are associated with this hagwon. i believe i heard around 11,000 students just in the seoul area. despite the numbers, dyb is a finely-tuned machine. there are a shitton of korean teachers also. all the levels do the same thing, no matter the teacher--same books, same level test. it's amazing. each day is a different focus--listening, speaking, etc. there are also a lot of teachers at this main branch, so it's nice to actually get to build some comaraderie whilst hanging out in a bonafide teachers' lounge.
so i haven't had too much free time in ilsan, because of the commute, but right now my life is good. i genuinely enjoy subway culture too. despite some of the questionable smells and the glaringly obvious lack of convenient trash cans (seriously, why should i have to carry an empty coffee cup for an hour). sitting on the subway, counting down the stops to my ultimate destination makes me feel important. i'm not busy really, all i can do is wait, but it makes me feel busy. it's urgent that i get somewhere. it's nice to have that time to be responsible for absolutely nothing besides listening to music.
in short, everything is adding up (so far, fingers crossed) to me feeling important and valued. i haven't had to struggle for anything either--no pointless weekly state of the union addresses featuring the same mounting, unresolved issues of the past year (hint hint: city hall in suncheon). you can only beat a dead horse for so long. after 9 months it doesn't even look like a horse anymore. i'm just guessing, as i've never actually beaten a dead horse.
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